Learning Forgiveness

So many today have the notion that forgiveness means the denial of all that happened, but it is far richer than such a shallow expression as that.  Others believe that forgiveness is little more than a myth and that sufficient suffering must happen to the party who originally inflicted pain. The experience of Joseph, and all the tribulation he endured, gives us the picture of what true forgiveness is meant to look like.

God's view of forgiveness is quite remarkable. In Matthew 18:32-35 we find the quintessential expression of what God requires:

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Forgiveness is also one of the singular most telling aspects of a person’s relationship with God:

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25)

So… what does it take to learn real forgiveness? We’re going to find out three things from Joseph’s experience that will help us as seen in Genesis 50:19-21:

But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

You Learn Real Forgiveness By:

Experiencing Real Pain

“As for you, you meant evil against me…”

Unless you have found yourself in the grip of real pain, you won’t know what it means to forgive as Jesus did. As we know, Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, falsely accused and imprisoned by his captors and forgotten about by his fellow prisoner. His life for years was subjected to the agonizing reality of the evil foisted on him by his brothers.

But I have found that those who have never experienced real pain (and such pain that comes at the hands of others) rarely abandon their self-imposed notion that they are justified in holding their grudges and have a hard time expressing forgiveness for the minor slights that they experience

Embracing God’s Purpose

“…but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”

From the perspective of this world, we can only see the shadows and glimpses of God’s grand design. Until the entire picture is revealed, we must embrace the simple truth that God is working out His plan—even in the times that we cannot understand.

This is where it takes faith. Because you won’t always see what God is doing, but His purpose is always for deliverance and restoration—always leading to the redemption of those around us. To learn forgiveness, you must understand that this is the great purpose of God.

Expressing True Pardon

“So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

True forgiveness is seen, experienced. Forgiveness must be real, personal and tangible. Look at the forgiveness expressed by Joseph toward his brothers and you will see quite clearly the nature of what true pardon looks like. It is real, not theoretical. It is personal, not distant. It is tangible, not vague.

Far too often, the forgiveness that is offered today is a limited forgiveness that is built upon all manner of requirements. When we put parameters on our willingness to forgive, we abandon the expression of Christ in us – which is forgiveness.

We close with this thought from Colossians 3:12-14

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.