A Few Thoughts on Dating and Relationships
Let’s face it; no one wants to be alone. We all want to meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. But it seems that for the majority of people it’s not happening. There are very few people that I’ve met that are truly happy with their relationship.
Why is that?
First, I think it’s because it’s so hard in western countries to get into a relationship in the first place. I read an interesting article earlier this month on Breitbart about young single men checking out of society. The article started out by saying:
“My generation of boys is f**ked,” says Rupert, a young German video game enthusiast I’ve been getting to know over the past few months. “Marriage is dead. Divorce means you’re screwed for life. Women have given up on monogamy, which makes them uninteresting to us for any serious relationship or raising a family. That’s just the way it is. Even if we take the risk, chances are the kids won’t be ours. In France, we even have to pay for the kids a wife has through adulterous affairs.
The article made a lot of valid points, but it unfairly demonized women. We can’t all paint things with a wide brush. There are a lot of great women out there already married or single sitting at home waiting to meet the right person. I know I’ve dated some great women that I should have settled down with, but I was too cocky, arrogant, narcissistic, self-centered, immature, and too young to appreciate them. As they say, oh well such is life and can’t dwell on the past.
So what’s the answer?
Well first off the answer is certainly not checking out of society. The article further went and said:
“They’ve done a cost-benefit analysis and realized it is a bad deal. They know that if they invest in a marriage and children, a woman can take all of that away from them on a whim. So they use apps like Tinder and OK Cupid to find women to have protected sex with and resign themselves to being ‘players,’ or when they get tired of that, ‘boyfriends.'”
Well that doesn’t work for everyone. Not everyone wants to be a player. Again, what works for others doesn’t necessarily work for everyone. We’re all programmed differently. That’s certainly the case in my family. I have a younger brother and we couldn’t be more different. When I used to hang out with him, I’d get drunk and pull down my pants to get a blowjob from a girl in front of everyone. He’d be sober and would try to pull my pants up and stop the party. It’s almost as if there was a mix-up at the hospital. I guess that’s why we don’t talk anymore. We never got along.
What I’ve noticed is a great deal of men have checked out of the US and come to Asia for relationships. In Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam, you would not believe all the Western men with Asian girlfriends.
Why is this case?
Well, through my travels and with the majority of guys I’ve met it’s because they’re lonely and they got royally screwed in the divorce. Their economic situation is not what it was prior to the divorce and life is a heck of a lot cheaper in Asia.
But why Asian women?
From my experience, it’s because in general Asian women are more direct in what they want. I’ll give you two examples regarding online dating which many people have used in the US. I’ve met two women online in Thailand. The first had in her profile “I want money. Sex for money.” I liked her profile. She looked great. Direct and to the point. It worked for me.
The second girl is my current girlfriend. We’ve been together for almost one year now and she lives with me. Her profile said that she was looking for love with a man 25 to 40, bald and a good heart. Again, direct and to the point.
The only thing she didn’t say in her dating profile was that she was also a virgin. The other girl was a whore looking for money and my girlfriend was looking for love and for the right person. They were two polar opposites. I lucked out and the dating Gods were looking out for me.
I used match.com in the US and it was ridiculous. The criteria and the selection process were comical. Searching for someone was like trying to build your own Barbie or Ken Doll. It’s unrealistic and doesn’t work.
The interesting thing is it’s not just men coming to Asia looking for either sex or love. It’s also women. I met a girl in Thailand named Megan. She’s a local reporter for one of the expat TV channels. She’s from the UK and all the Brits call her Fergie because she looks like Fergie from the Black-Eyes Peas. She’s a good-looking girl and of course I tried to pick her up. I always try at least. You never know and the worst that can happen is that she says no and I make a fool of myself, which wouldn’t be the first time.
I asked her out and she told me that she had a Thai boyfriend and she only dates Thai guys. It immediately peaked my interest of why and she told me.
“Most UK guys just want to get into my pants and don’t really care about me. The Thai guys look at me as a trophy and treat me much better.”
It shocked the hell out of me because a lot of Thai girls that I’ve met don’t like Thai guys. I guess that explains all the mixed-race relationships worldwide. It seems a lot of people think things are better outside of their own culture.
But the problem is not everyone has the flexibility with their lives to come to Asia. Whether it is work, family, children or other commitments, most people can’t fly 26 hours from the US to find a relationship. In my opinion, that’s where the opportunity lies. I’m not quite sure how, but there has to be an easier way to date and I’m not talking sex. There are plenty of single men and women sitting at home waiting to meet the right one.
I think a lot of it has to do with unrealistic expectations. If we could all simplify what we’re looking for, it makes things a lot easier.
Mark Yagalla founded Ashbury Capital and APEX Investments. He is a self-confessed sex addict who famously stole Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend Sandy Bentley. Mark breaks his silence in his new book WALL STREET JOYRIDE: The Prodigy, The Playmates, and The Missing $50 Million.
