I Locked Up My Team and What Happened Next May Surprise You

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I Locked Up My Team and What Happened Next May Surprise You

A Leader’s Inspiration

I was sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

At 11 years old, I was the oldest of six children. It was a warm Saturday in May, my mother was at work, and my father was running late. As he rushed through the kitchen on his way out the door, he stopped, pointed his finger in a sweep that took in the whole house, and said in a stern voice:

“David, this house is filthy. I want it spotless by the time I get home. You’re in charge. Now get it done and I’ll see you tonight.”

He didn’t say “or else…” but I understood this to be a serious matter.

I sat there, spoon in hand, and asked myself questions that will sound familiar to every leader:

What now?

How can I get everyone to do what has to be done?

What will happen if I don’t get it done?

I pondered these questions for several minutes and then…

Inspiration!

In a blinding flash of insight, I had it…

“CheriMaryEstherDannyRachael!” I hollered (it was an accomplishment to name everybody in one breath). “C’mon…everyone go downstairs. We’ve got to clean the house. Dad said so.”

Sometimes, I’m amazed that it worked: everyone trooped down to the basement. Everyone, that is, but me. Once everyone was downstairs, I climbed the stairs and…

I locked the door.

An interior door separated the stairs leading down to the basement from the rest of the house. I called down to my siblings, “I’ve locked the door – you can come out as soon as the basement is clean!”

Yes, that’s right.

My earliest leadership memory is of locking my younger brothers and sisters in the basement.

The Wrong Question

Nearly every time I share this story with audiences, at this point someone stops me and asks if they got the basement clean.

Let me ask you first – what do you think happened?

Before you read any further, take a moment and make your own guess.

Ready?

Well, the truth is, my team of five younger siblings did it. They put away the toys, threw out the trash, swept, and got it passably clean.

Are you surprised?

Many audience members are surprised that it worked. They expected some form of nonviolent (or violent!) protest.

To me however, asking if they cleaned the basement is the wrong question.

The better question is, “What happened next time?”

Results and Relationships

In my speaking, coaching, and training programs I meet many leaders who believe that “results are all that matter.”

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

I’d rather be a tyrant and meet my goals than lose my job.
The board hired me for one reason: to get results.
My boss doesn’t care if my team likes me, she only cares if I get things done.

You’ve probably heard someone, or even yourself, say something very similar.

It’s understandable. After all, it’s true: your team exists to achieve results. You were hired to achieve results.

Eleven-year-old me was certainly focused on results. Get the house clean!

Here’s the problem:

When you focus only on immediate results, you lock your team in the basement.

You may get immediate results through fear, power, and control, but the next time you need action, your team will trust you less. You’ll have to use even more fear and intimidation to get the same level of activity.

It’s a vicious cycle that ensnares many leaders (and one of the reasons employee engagement is so low).

That’s why “What happened next time?” is a better question.

Of course, you know the answer. My brother and sisters would never again trust my summons to the basement and I had to work hard to rebuild my credibility. (Several decades have passed and I still get teased about it

Your sustained leadership success requires you to invest in healthy relationships with those you lead AND maintain a clear focus on results.

Anything less than that and you will find yourself on a treadmill: running faster and faster to stay in one place, continually replacing good people who leave, and relying on anger and fear to get anything done.

In contrast, organizations with healthy relationships and strong results feature motivated teams who take responsibility for their own work, stable turnover, and people accomplish amazing things by leveraging each other’s talents and strengths.

Which one do you want?

Your Turn

You’ll be able to build teams that care and get more done with fewer headaches when you invest in both results and relationships.

How do you manage the tension between results and relationships?

Take care,

Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say Cover

David

If this post was helpful, check out my award-winning book The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say. I provide leaders with practical tools you can use to build engaged, energized, and innovative teams. Get your copy today on Amazon.com.

David expertly nets it out for busy leaders (and is there any other kind these days?), sharing practical, actionable advice that will immediately transform leaders and improve team results. -Julie Winkle Guilioni, Co-Author of Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go

Make a difference twice: for every copy sold I donate one dollar to nonprofits that help people who need help the most.

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David Dye Leadership Speaker Employee Motivation