One Never Knows

Inside each of us resides the truth…
…in THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN: 
James Bond escaped his hall of mirrors by breaking glass, shattering the illusions, until only the true villain stood before him.   We, too, must shatter the mirrors.   We must look into ourselves and root out the distortions until that thing which we know in our hearts is perfect and true, stands before us.
We can’t have everything we want.   Sometimes, we simply have to believe.
--THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN
by Garth Stein, a novel

April 8, 1989A few changes have taken place in my life lately.  I am now working in Walnut Creek and it’s a big change from working in the City (San Francisco).   Walnut Creek is more of a big suburb and this new position at Pacific Bell with SMART Yellow Pages could lead to a higher paying commission sales job for me sooner versus later.


I was still keeping up with my classes at the ELITE Modeling School in San Francisco though.   A part of me wondered if it wasn’t just a waste of money; however, I find that I am gaining knowledge from some of the studies that could help me in other ways for my future.  One never knows.   Two of the girls who work at the ELITE School were having a party in San Francisco.   I confirmed with Maria that I would definitely attend the party.   Maria seems to like me and we flirt with each other a lot.  I feel as though we have a connection that could blossom.  We've gone out together a couple of times and we seem to 'click'.  I wonder how she really feels about me.  She has a shy quality when she's with me 'at times' (which I kind of like).  I was a bit nervous about going to this party alone, so I persuaded ‘Jim from the Gym’ and Michael Miller to join me.   They were agreeable. 
I said, “There could be a gorgeous model of your dreams there.”

And so, Jim and Mike jumped on the offer about going to the party.   Once we arrived the place seemed rather ‘dead’.   I believe that I learned ‘at this party’ that any party is what you choose to make of it; therefore, I chose to have a good time.   I did.   I was in mingling mode and friendly.   It made it easier to be relaxed and feel good.   I’m not so sure if Jim or Mike had as good a time.   They seemed to mingle away rather easily though.  It all worked out.

After the party I drove back to Alameda and Mike and Jim came in to my pad to shoot the breeze over another beer.   Mike was showing off his motorcycle to Jim in the garage.   A motorcycle is not my game.  I prefer my speedster BIANCHI bicycle.
April 10, 1989I was happy to receive another letter from the REDDING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.   This time it was a Thank You card from one of the students by the name of Brian Ly.

Brian wrote:   Dear Mr. Armijo, Hi.   I am Brian Ly.   Are you having a good time?   Thank you for what you teach us.  I learn a lot from you.  I hope you will come to visit us.  Please write back to me about what you are doing.   Thanks again.  From Brian Ly
April 11, 1989Brian’s thoughtful letter got me in the mood of writing myself.  I also received a letter from Paloma.  I sent Brian a short postcard of appreciation.  Paloma’s letter inspired me to share more of my emotions and what was going on with me now.   I really wished I could see her again and I made it clear in my letter.  I wrote the following letter on a 'Wedding In The Park' card that I found for Paloma:


April 11, 1989, 9:05PM Dear Paloma,
I received your card today.   Thanks.  

I started a new job as a Direct Telemarketing Rep in Walnut Creek with Pac Bell Directory still—but it’s a nice change and could mean a lot more money because I will be getting commission based on what I sell.  I am getting to know my new fellow workers.   We played a game of ‘getting to know one another’.   We each revealed a little something special.   I shared this:  ‘The neat feeling of being in the FRENCH Countryside at a beautiful wedding…the helium-filled balloon, etc., etc.’  

Do you remember that?  I thought this card appropriate for that time.  I miss you a lot.   In fact, as I was moving from my old pad to mom’s house I realized I hadn’t been to Paris since September 1985!   And so…I’d like to fly to see you in July or early to mid-August 1j989.   Which time is better for you?  Will it be okay with Jonathan and Alexandre?  Which airport should I arrange to fly in to?   I’d like to go to New York for a few days, London a few and then spend a week in Agde (the South of France).   We need to get together.   It’s time to see each other.   What goods would you like me to bring to you?   Didn’t you want some 501 button-fly LEVI’s?

I’m sort of dating Maria…still.  As for the Steven character…he is still friendly with me but there’s no more intimate involvement because I simply cannot commit to anyone who is off and about every which way in the airline business.   So…we are just friends.   It’s just as well because there’s no real future in a man-to-man relationship on an intimate level anyway (if you know what I mean).   I feel a little embarrassed telling you about that…but I didn’t want to NOT mention where it let and/or what had happened with it all between Steven and me.

The last four days were over 90 degrees in San Francisco.  This hadn’t happened for four days in a row since 1939.   I have a tan for my next trip to Hawaii already.  Ha-ha…I know I won’t mention that surprise trip.   I will send you another postcard about it. Oh well…I’m going to do some push-ups.   Thinking of You.   Are you still in good shape?  Love, Michael

Coincidentally, I received a HAWAII postcard from Steven Antol the next day.  Steven wrote the postcard while in Narita, JAPAN Hi Michael,
I bought this card a while back but it only resurfaced recently in my suitcase.   I thought you’d enjoy this one.   I’m working today but I received no assignment.   Just as well…because I feel a little sick today…sore throat, chills, etc.   I’ve been flying a lot.   What a quick trip!   That’s probably why I feel the way I do.  Hey, thanks for the MARILYN card and the MADONNA picture.  I love them both.   Send your mail to the HNL P.O. Box from now on, ok?
Sayonara,
S

April 14, 1989I found another card in my mailbox that was much more fun and amusing though.  It was from my friend, Mitch Schwartz, at Pac Bell Directory. 

I no longer work with Mitch but he sent a card that made me laugh.  He used his gestures with footnotes on the card and clipped typewritten clips of our coworkers’ notes as we dealt with customers.  It made me laugh.  

I chose Mitch as my guest to accompany me to Hawaii.  I will be going to Hawaii again in mid-May because I was honored for my productive nature in business at PAC BELL.   I was allowed to bring a guest and I chose Mitch.  I know he will make it all the more fun.  He will know many of the coworkers, so it will make for a grand time.   I look forward to the adventure.
“What a remarkable human-being.”-Academy-Award Winning Actor, William Holden