Who's got it...and who doesn't.

This is my friend Jaq:

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Gorgeous, right? I know. Here's another:

Yeah, she's a model. She knows she's got "it." And she also knows who… doesn't have it.  

In fact, recently when some girl was getting a little too close to her fiance (sorry guys, she's taken), she informed the young lady that her man was off limits but she could "feel free to move to LA and ride her coat tails."

She's a giver.

Which brings me to the reason for this post. Today I received my birthday gift in the mail. Jaq had warned me it would be coming a month late but assured me it would be worth it.

Here it is:

Yup. It's a Snuggie. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture. It's the thought that counts after all. Additionally, I appreciate the fashion-forwardness of the leopard print. Truly inspired.

But what says, "I've given up on life," more than wearing "the blanket with sleeves?"

Not a whole lot.

But it gets better, cherubs.

Have a look:

Yup. That's a matching leopard Snuggie for Max. So, I can not only give up on life (in style) immediately… I don't have to do it alone.

My dear friend has decided that it is over for me. O-V-E-R. But, at the very least, she wants me to be comfortable.

I just called Jaq and thanked her profusely, but she was busy and couldn't really talk. She's in Miami, with her fiance, at Art Basel. "I really don't give a shit about art ," she said, "but I'm pulling up to my friend's house now and we're going to the Vanity Fair party." 

Yeah, that's cool. I'm home. On Saturday night. Alone. Well, with my dog.

And we have matching Snuggies.

A level of shame I never even knew existed.