Pip the Jolly Penguin Meets Santa

Pip the jolly penguin, played in the snow,

He always sang a jolly song, that went where he would go,

The other penguins hated him, they said it's just our luck,

To be stuck upon this ice-flow with this bloody cheerful fuck.

But then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,

I need some penguin volunteers to help save Christmas Day,

My reindeer, they are out on strike, I must deliver toys,

Oh, won't you penguins help me out, for all the girls and boys?

Oh no, the penguins cried as one, we are not rats in labs,

If reindeer boys are out on strike we will not be your scabs,

But Pip he cried, oh Santa, dear, I'll help you save the day,

I'll sing to you my jolly song, and I won't ask for pay.

But Santa shook his grizzled head, and said, oh no, me lad,

You are that cheery fucker, I don't need help that bad.