Teaching is Learning

“You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself.” ― Galileo Galilei

Yesterday I had a major meltdown. I went to school with my girls and I literally felt like my heart was going to explode. In my rant on Facebook yesterday, I told you all that my ex ruined my life by doing something stupid, which resulted in me losing my job as an educator.

I lied.

I guess going to the school yesterday and seeing all those kids made all the memories come rushing back. They flooded my mind. I felt like I was drowning. What I didn’t stop to think about was the fact that they were all positive memories. Memories that have made me a successful person today.

I am in no way giving my ex credit for that! That is all on me. Due to losing my job, I made myself change dreams. To fight for something else. Something that means more to me then educating.

I helped a lot of kids grow. I pushed and fought with a lot of young adults. I made them see that they were smart, they just didn’t give themselves enough credit. But, at the end of the day I went home drained. I was stressed all the time. I loved those kids. I worried about those kids. In the process I forgot about my own kids. I even started to pull away from my ex.

Teaching killed my passion for life. I was wrapped up in trying to help everyone find what’s within, and I lost my passion. My light dimmed, and then burnt out. I never really saw it until now. I wasn’t happy teaching. Sure, I loved the kids, and I loved the material, but I didn’t love the job.

So, by pushing myself to write, I’ve become happy. All the struggles and bumps in the road. All the hurt that other people caused, I managed to pull through it. I didn’t give up. Why? Because I’m happy…. Because I love it.

I’m home with my girls. I get to work in my home, which I love. I get to work with my best friend and write books. Books that other people love. Well…some people.

I’m just happy.

Moral of my rant…. I forgive him.

I forgive my worthless piece of crap ex for ruining my teaching careering. Only because it made me just a little bit stronger. It made me push myself to do something better. I have a long way to go, but doing it without him just makes it that much better. He may have closed yet another door to a closet full of baggage, but the future is looking bright!

I reached out to some of those kids. But in the process, they helped me. They helped me see that teaching wasn’t my true calling.