PTSD

It’s been three days since I’ve slept and to add to my misery my doctor told me today to drink three bottles of wine a day for the next week….oh and take the prescribed diazepam. Is it just me or does that sound crazy?

So, today I did… I’m not drunk… why not. I’m back to crying and all those people who jumped from buildings and bridges are haunting me. Why did you do it? Jesus what can be so bad, were you cowards or do you think you were brave. I wish you were alive to tell me. Over a decade of watching people kill themselves. Is it any wonder I can’t sleep…

Swallow diving off a building with the best view in Wales, what was going through your head… I saw you pace the building, climb out of the window. why do you haunt me? I dont even know your name…

Rainbow bridge and the gal that left you in Blackpool, is that my fault? Just fuck off out of my dreams… I don’t know you, couldn’t save you. Yes I watched you jump but was that my fault. you jumped, that was your decision.

So many murders, get out of my head, I didn’t murder you, but it was awful, tragic, I helped the police track your killers, please leave me alone I just want to sleep…

Please…