Fandoms and their darker side

I’ll state right out that I don’t really understand fandoms most of the time. There are many things I consider myself a fan of, but nothing speaks to me so strongly that I become deeply invested in it. I might make a Halloween costume for a character I like, and I might buy a collection to have that thing on hand for repeated viewings, but that’s about the extent of my devotion.

To be clear, when I talk about fandoms here, I’m not really talking about the cosplayers. I get their motivations. You like a character in some creative work, and you make a costume to be them from time to time. I get that, and I think cosplay is a pretty cool way to express your love for something. In the same way, I understand people doing fan-fiction stories and art. You are inspired by something, but want to take the story in a different direction not considered by the creator. Also cool, and sometimes just as interesting as the thing you are borrowing from.

No, what I’m talking about is the growing darker side of fandoms. I’m talking about fans who attack and abuse members of other fandoms for not liking the same things, like the bitter feuds in the console wars, or the fight between fans of various book series. I’m talking about people who send death threats to reviewers for daring to criticize their beloved game/comic/TV series/book, or worse, people who send death threats to the creator of their object of affection for not taking it in the right direction. I keep seeing people leaving social media because of these fandoms becoming ever more menacing, and I don’t get it. This is really how some people express their love, by becoming violent?

At times, I feel like I want a fandom built around any of my stories because it’s always so gratifying to have someone tell me they like the characters and can identify with them. I get that every once in a while, sometimes in a good review, or sometimes in a personal email. But it’s a rare occurrence, and a lonely part of me wishes I could get a random affirmation from fans to keep up the good work more often.

Then I see how fans have sent death threats to Veronica Roth and Charlaine Harris for not writing the story they wanted to see. I see critics closing their online accounts over a bad review, and content creators doing the same to get away from death threats or “swatting,” the act of calling the police in the hopes of getting the SWAT team to attack a person’s home. I see these things, and then the idea of having a fandom isn’t so appealing. And even the idea of being part of some fandoms becomes troubling because I don’t want to be in any group where people think it’s okay to behave like this. How is it okay to send the creators of My Little Pony death threats because they changed the voice of one bit character in a single episode? How does anyone justify that kind of reaction to themselves or anyone else?

I love Teen Wolf. I think it’s probably one of my favorite TV shows in a long time, but there are things in every season that didn’t work for me, or that deeply upset me. There were a few things that made me really mad. But aside from complaining to my hubby or sending out a few random tweets to my followers, I don’t see a need to vent my anger at anyone on the show. Okay, so the show didn’t do what I wanted. I have a few options from this point. I can stop watching. This isn’t going to happen because even with the flaws, it is still one of my favorite shows. I can write a fan-fiction that addresses the parts I don’t like. This is possible, but not very likely because I prefer writing stuff I can sell, and to me fan-fiction is a financial dead end even if it does feel creatively satisfying. I can accept that my beloved show has some flaws and keep watching. This is likely going to be my response until they stop making the show and I have to find something else to fill in the empty space.

But you know what isn’t an option? Sending a death threat to the writers or the producer. And maybe the reason I feel that way is that I never love deeply enough to resort to violence. I have at times argued passionately for a thing I loved to a critic, but I also kept my debate respectable. I go into it saying things like “Here’s some points I think you overlooked in your assessment,” not, “Well you fucking idiot, here’s why you’re wrong, and if you don’t change your mind, I’ll hunt you down and kill you.” I might never even change their minds when I make a defense of that thing I love, but we can’t all love the same things. We all look at each creation from our own perspective, and you may not see that thing in the same way I do. That’s okay.

Any long-time readers of my blog know I can be a very harsh critic of things I don’t like. I’m notoriously picky, and things that don’t bother other people rub me the wrong way when I see them. Inconsistency is a huge deal for me, so if a story narrator says a character has certain qualities that aren’t shown in their behavior, oh boy, that really steams me up. So I make a mean-spirited review, and I really lay into the thing I hated.

But once I’ve done my review, I’m done with that thing. I don’t hunt down the fans of that thing and tell them why they’re wrong for liking it. I don’t obsess over the thing I don’t like and keep going back to it as an example of everything wrong with the world. I did my rant on it, and now I can move on and find other stuff to love or hate.

These days, a lot of my choices in picking up a new thing are based not on the fans gushing about it. Instead, I see someone saying how this thing is disgusting and how the people who love it are rotten scumbags. I see that kind of hate, and I think “Jeez, what’s the big deal with that thing? Let me go look at it and see if it’s half as awful as these people are making it out to be.” And you know what? even when I don’t like that thing, I just don’t get the hate that some people have for it and the surrounding fandom. Okay, you didn’t like it. I understand that. I might even agree that the thing isn’t very good. But I can’t see attacking other people for liking it, or for attacking the creator.

It’s one thing to love or hate a thing, and another to lose sight of the fact that there are real people on the receiving end of our vitriol. I don’t blame the internet for causing this behavior. Before the internet, there were people sending death threats though the mail. All the internet does is make these attacks public. It’s a magnifying glass for a problem that already existed. But I do think the internet and its public nature give people filled with hate more validation of their feelings. So you can hate and send death threats to someone else, and you’ll get a lot of back patting and gladhanding from others who also feel the same way. And in this way, you feel okay doing it over and over again because hey, there’s someone else who agrees with you.

I think social sites have made this problem worse because we can all filter input into our personal bubbles. People who tell us we’re overreacting can be muted, blocked, or deleted. So we don’t deal with criticism anymore. We accept validation of our beliefs, and we shut out anyone with a contrary opinion. And in some arguments, I think that can be good. After all, if someone is starting their criticism with “Look, you stupid fucking douchebag,” I’m not inclined to take their input as a legitimate form of criticism. But it can also be bad because if I’m genuinely wrong about a topic, I can block out all dissenting views, even if they are making a valid point. I don’t have to learn anything, in other words. I can just go on spouting whatever ideal I hold, even if it’s wrong, and I can make sure the only people who reach me are the folks who also hold the same point of view.

I can’t really see a solutions to this myopic style of fandom. I wish we could all love the things we do without having to make it into a bitter fight, and I wish that people could understand how their hate harms other people in very real ways. But I don’t believe I can change anyone’s mind about this.

The collective bullying of fandoms reminds me quite a lot of school, where there are some cliques who just cannot get along. The social sites are not directly at fault for the existence of these cliques, but they do enable us to find our tribes and stay safely wrapped in a bubble of like-minded consorts. And that makes it even harder for people to learn how mean-spirited they are and grow past that kind of abusive behavior.