But Which Way Did He "Dress"?

The Kensington true-crime quickie I picked up last night might be the single stupidest book I've ever read, but I am in love with this description of one of the murderer's defense attorneys:

"He had piercing, dark eyes, salt-and-pepper brows, a tight butt, stained teeth, and also a taste for good red wine."

Had I been asked to blurb this book, I think I could have said honestly, "Not every writer is capable of such description."