hey, so i'm kind of trying to get back into the dating scene (post college grad, now working a 9-5 after a creative blowout at my first job) but i live with my parents in a bedroom that hasn't changed decoration since i was 16. moving out isn't a financial

You know, a lot people are referring to this age group as the “boomerang generation” which seems like an unfair label given out by the generation that caused the state of the economy in the first place, but it’s actually kind of fun, if you think about it. You’re practical and reasonable while also gliding through the air all light and fast and banana-shaped. In other words, the situation is not ideal, but you can still make the best of it.

So you have some options. You can get creative, and find ways to get your sexy on elsewhere: Cars. Bathrooms. Other people’s houses. (But like, people you know. I feel like that’s an important caveat. Breaking and entering is just not worth the excitement.) Hotel rooms can be fun. Pretend you’re both spies working for opposing government operatives and you tell yourself it’s only about the hot sex but actually you’ve fallen for each other and maybe someday you can run off to Kazakhstan together and finally live the peaceful life you’ve always longed for.

Or, you know, something that isn’t one of my more elaborate fantasies.

You could take a brief vow of chastity, wait until you’ve got a little more space, particularly given the way your life seems to be in flux both personally and professionally. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so they say.

A third possibility is to bring someone home anyway, but be upfront about it. It’s respectful and sets boundaries and yes, it’s awkward, but you are an adult and not actually sixteen so don’t act like it. No sneaking around. No lying about just “watching a movie.” And maybe change the decor a little? The only thing worse than getting caught heels up and naked by your mother may be doing it under a Spice Girls poster. Been there, done that.