Daughter of Mars #80 | (A Better Life Part 2)
Kree stirred, jostling Risa out of an unintended nap. Her eyelids parted to the sight of the child’s face an inch away from hers, grinning. Risa inhaled through her nose while inheriting the girl’s smile. A reflexive glance at the time display in the corner of her vision indicated three hours had passed, and triggered a collision of elation and horror. Her sight had returned, but she had metal eyes.
Risa sat up and stretched, cringing at the sensation of flexible armor peeling away from her skin. Kree crawled around on the bed, playing with a small human figure made of scrap bolts and nuts. At some point while Risa was unconscious, the girl had shed most of her clothes in preparation for sleep, keeping only her underpants and the moonboots she adored. When she discovered the leftover ‘Bacon-mageddon’ in its box, she scooted over and maneuvered her improvised doll as if he were climbing it. A few seconds later, she got a whiff of the contents and lost all interest in the makeshift doll. Kree tore the container open, and seized the cold sandwich in two hands. Her pleading glance at Risa attracted no sign of disapproval, and she tore into it as though she’d been starved for days.
Risa put a hand on the girl’s arm. “Slow down, kiddo. You’ll choke.”
Kree grinned. “This is good! It’s not slime.”
“No, it’s all vat-grown.” Risa laughed. “The way you’re gnawing on that, it’s like you’ve never had bacon before.”
“Whazzat?” Kree stuffed the last bits of the sandwich in her mouth.
“You’ve never had it before?” Risa cocked her head.
“No.” Kree folded her hands in her lap, lip quivering. “Mommy said meat was bad and makes us sick.” After a few seconds of sullen quiet, she looked up. “Did your mommy let you have meat?”
“I don’t remember mine. I was really little when…” My dad killed her. “She died.”
Kree covered her face in both hands, sniveling. “Why do mommies die?”
Risa pulled the child close, holding her as the girl bawled. “My mother was a spy. The person she was assigned to watch found out about her and killed her.” She shouldn’t have trusted him.
She rocked Kree until her crying quieted. Risa pondered the revelation her beloved father had been the one to murder the mother she never knew. Had learning the truth been what weakened her consuming need to take revenge?
At least he loved me…
Kree wiped her face and looked up. “Maybe you can sorta be my mommy, but not be my mommy.”
I can’t do that to her. What if I die? “Maybe. We’ll see what happens.”
“’Kay.” The girl scampered off the bed, diving into a bundle of fabric by the desk. After a little rummaging around, she emerged with a datapad in hand.
Risa surveyed the sprawl of pants, shirts and socks. Maybe I should try this ‘normal clothing’ thing out. Kree crawled out of the pile of clothes and sat cross-legged with the datapad across her knees.
With the child busying herself with a video game, Risa rummaged through the ‘floordrobe’, snagging a loose pair of black shorts and a grey tank top. As soon as she took a step for the door, Kree ran over and grabbed her around the legs.
“Don’t go.”
“Kree.” Risa patted her on the head and chuckled. “I’m just going to take a shower. I promise I won’t leave the safehouse.”
“Baths are dumb.” Kree pouted at her boots.
Risa poked her in the stomach with one finger, earning a grin. “I’ll be right back.”
“’Kay.” The girl pivoted on her heel and did a toy soldier walk back to her nest of laundry.
One step out the door, Risa reversed course and plucked her laser pistols off the bed. I shouldn’t leave these in reach of a child. She glanced at desk drawers, one closet, and a footlocker with a dead code panel. Crap.
“I won’t touch them,” said Kree, absorbed by the game in her hands. “Gar-son said I could die.”
“You’re not the only kid around here these days.” The room offered nothing high to hang the harness on. “It’s the boys I’m worried about, and not necessarily the ones too small to shave.”
Kree smiled; flashing lights from the holographic display lit her face blue, pink, and green.
Risa wandered down the hallway, clothes in one hand, harness dangling from two fingers in the other. While passing the common room at the end of ‘Death Row’, where Genevieve had her ‘vindaloo incident’, she diverted to a folding table at which Osebi and Ralek occupied themselves with holo-poker.
“Hey, can you guys watch these for me?”
“Them little things?” asked Ralek.
She dangled her pistols over the table, smirking at him. “These, jackass.”
“That’s what I meant.” He patted one of the MPRG-9 rifles Shiro provided. “You got little pea-shooters.”
“Yeah well.” Risa set the harness on the table. “Still don’t want one of the kids messing around with them.”
“Lock dem up?” Osebi raised an eyebrow.
“Nah,” said Ralek. “They’d cry an’ make noise.”
“I meant da weapons.” Osebi waved a hand over his NetMini; iridescent green holographic cards faded out. He levelled a stare across the table. “What is wrong with you?”
Ralek wasn’t small by any means, but compared to Osebi, he seemed like a boy.
“Hey, they have jokes on Earth, don’t they?” Ralek raised his hands.
“Such tings are not jokes. De ACC no’ treat resistance different because they be small.” Osebi pulled Risa’s weapons harness closer to him. “I will watch for you.”
“Thanks.” She walked off, leaving the men to their game.
Sam and Brett came running around a corner up ahead, shoes clanking and squeaking on the metal floor. They paused from their toy gunfight with invisible soldiers only long enough to wave and say “Hi, Risa” at the same time before zooming off. She returned their smiles, leaning to the side to let them race past. Two turns and a hallway later, she ducked into the small bathing area where Pavo had given her the PWRS vest.
Floor, walls, ceiling, and the row of lockers hadn’t changed from their basic black, though it felt darker. Her heart sank as she remembered his arms encircling her from behind, pointing out the various functions of the filtration unit that would provide water made from her own urine. A ghostly tickle traced over her abdomen at the memory of Pavo’s finger.
Risa dropped her ‘clean’ clothes on the metal bench and bent forward to unfasten her boots. Lifeless fingers took their time opening the five plastic clips. I could grab Kree and run. Do I really owe these people my life? She stepped out of her boots and squeezed the MolWeave fastener under her jaw. The soft egg-shaped lump of rubber peeled the suit apart like a silent zipper down to her hip.
Maybe Garrison, but Maris wouldn’t care if I died. He’d probably be relieved.
She peeled the dense, rubbery material away, hopping long enough to extricate her right foot from a clump of legging. Naked, she wandered to the back of the room where an ancient showerhead stuck out at the end of a single grey pipe bolted to the wall. At chest level, two valves with disc-shaped knobs offered the illusion of hot water. A rubber line went to a portable water heater powered by the same kind of e-mag her laser pistols used. Why no one had bothered to drag an autoshower down here was anyone’s guess.
The way they repair shit in this place, I’m not surprised. Low-tech faucets don’t break so often.
Risa twisted both knobs and braced for the freezing spray. She shivered in place until the hot water caught up and made the downpour tolerable. She held her armor under the shower first, rinsing dried sweat from the sleeves and legs. A canister of autoshower soap, rigged with a hand pump, dangled on a wire from the pipe between the faucets. The concentrated lavender syrup saturated the air with an artificial flower scent, watering her eyes as she collected a handful. She rubbed the substance around her entire body while keeping her back to the door as much as possible in case of unexpected company. Most would hear the water running and at least knock first.
The room reminded her too much of Pavo, especially his intimate contact. I never should have said ‘I love you.’ I gave him a death sentence. She sank to her knees under the spray and stared down at lilac-tinted soap bubbles gathering against her leg before trailing past her on the way to the drain. Water fell on her back and ran in rivulets over her face. Risa made fists, teetering on a precipice between wanting to sob and scream with rage.
I don’t even know for sure who killed him.
She composed herself and stood, careful to turn both valves off at the same time. Dripping, she trudged over and sat on the bench. Wet hair adhered to her back, though she ignored the annoyance of innumerable droplets tickling down her skin. She air-dried herself for a little while, until the memories in the room grew too heavy to bear.
Her tank top and shorts clung to her still-wet body as she walked barefoot, carrying her boots over grit-covered floors and cold metal grates. Kree remained as she had left her, cross-legged on the floor with her datapad. She looked up long enough to smile as Risa walked in and hung her armor up to dry. Kree kept her attention on the video game as Risa moved to the floor behind her, grumbling only when the dress passing over her eyes presented an unavoidable interruption. She wrapped her arms around the girl and rested her chin atop her head, watching a tiny cartoon spaceman navigate a world of oversized toys.
“That’s Explorer One,” said Kree. “She’s okay.” The child twisted her body to the right, as if it would help her avoid an explosion on the screen. “She’s not as powerful as you.”
Risa took advantage of the “You have died – continue?” screen to lean forward and pull Kree’s boots off. The girl started breathing hard as if to erupt in tears.
“Shh, Kree. We can’t get your leggings on over the boots.”
Why am I doing this? Risa stretched the leggings out by the child’s feet. She grasped the child’s legs one after the next and tucked them into the pants. Kree giggled when Risa lifted her an inch off the ground to get the fabric around her butt. When she let the elastic waistband snap, she squealed, and shot her a squinty-eyed glare. It’s only going to hurt her more when I die. The child sat still, staring at her toes and making a weak gurgle as Risa squeezed her tight.
“My feet are cold.” Kree squirmed, trying to reach for her boots.
“Okay.” Risa relaxed her grip.
Kree reached forward, got her boots on, and leaned back against Risa. “Okay, you can hug me now.”
I’m making a mistake. Risa wrapped her arms around Kree. She deserves better.
Kree restarted the game from the last save checkpoint, and her little green space woman with an oversized bubble helmet sprinted through the maze again. She collected blocks, apparently in an effort to spell the word ‘nebula.’ Risa kept quiet, mesmerized by the sensation of the little body in her arms breathing.
“I don’t like this part. I always lose here.” Kree hesitated at the entrance to a long hallway. “It’s got bombs on the floor and lasers in the walls… green stuff from the roof. Stupid Explorer One should have speeware.”
“Those big purple berries are the bombs?” Risa peered around Kree’s head.
Kree walked back and forth past the hallway, ducking a stray laser. “Yeah.”
“Have you tried shooting them? They look targetable.”
“No.” Kree made a cute snarling nose when her character’s laser blast set off the first bomb, triggering a chain reaction that cleared the hallway―destroying both the lasers in the walls and the gas vents in the ceiling. Her sour face lasted a minute before she paused the game and started sniffling. “This game is stupid.”
Risa rocked her side to side. “Sometimes things that look like they’re long and complicated are really simple.”
Kree shifted to the side, resting her head against Risa’s chest. Her face turned red as quiet tears ran down her cheeks. Risa remembered learning to cry without making a noise. Bad things come looking for crying children. She rubbed and patted Kree’s back, too choked up herself to even whisper. She’s not this upset about a game.
Kree clung for a few minutes without making a noise. Eventually, she looked up and wiped her eyes. “You’re still not my mommy.”
Risa smiled. “Are you hungry? Oh, wait, you ate that thing…”
“Yeah,” muttered Kree.
“I need to eat something.”
After a brief squeeze, Risa stood, wiped the sand off her soles and stepped into her boots. Kree snagged her datapad, already playing it as she followed to the common room. Ralek’s eyebrows had slithered together, forming a single, flat line over his face. He stared at his holographic cards as if the fate of the world rested on a decision he had ten seconds to make. Kree plopped down on a seat made of old shipping crates covered with a dingy bedsheet, and set her game on a folding table. Risa stopped by the food ‘sem, dialed up a sad excuse for pancakes, and joined her.
“Osebi mopping up again?” asked Risa.
Ralek shook his head as the big man flashed a smile of perfect white. “Son of a bitch can’t be that lucky. He’s gotta be cheating but I can’t tell how.”
“It is not cheating.” Osebi, raised a finger. “The luck has always been with me.”
“It ain’t lucky to get shot nineteen times, mate.” Ralek laughed.
“He’s still alive.” Risa dug in to her food.
Kree wrinkled her nose at the artificial ‘maple’ smell.
Risa lowered her voice. “I asked someone about your mother.”
The child’s thumb flicked up to pause the game. She went still as a statue.
“If I can find the people who did it I―”
“No,” said Kree. She looked up from the screen, though she stared right through Risa at nowhere. “They kill mommies.”
I thought I wasn’t Mommy. Risa couldn’t bring herself to say it, or much else past the tightness in her throat. She reached across the table to hold the girl’s hand. Kree dropped the datapad on the table and scrambled off her seat. She ran around Ralek and crawled into Risa’s lap. The expected explosion of tears didn’t happen; the girl’s eerie calm kept Risa quiet as she finished her breakfast.
Kree looked up, tilted her head, and reached a tentative finger towards Risa’s eye. She didn’t feel the girl’s fingertip touch the metal sclera, only an odd sense of her eyeball pressing against the back of the eye socket.
“What took your eyes?” Kree lowered her arm.
A power-hungry asshole. Me being hot-headed. I… dunno. “I… It’s complicated.”
“Did someone hurt you?”
“No. I didn’t get hurt. I sold them.” Risa let the fork slip out of her fingers, clattering onto the plate. “If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t.”
Kree’s mouth hung open. “But you’ve got speeware!”
“Yeah… I don’t need―”
“Can Kree play?” yelled a boy.
Risa looked up at the group of mineshaft kids. A sense of contentment chipped at the underside of the deep void left by Pavo’s loss. At least they’re better off here than the street. “If she wants to.”
“Okay,” said Kree, squirming to slide off Risa’s lap. “I don’t wanna go outside.”
After a quick hug, she ran off with the other kids. Risa nudged the fork back and forth between her fingers, trying to unwind a tangle of what-ifs in her mind. Her weapon harness clattered in front of her a moment later, breaking her concentration.
Osebi’s frame towered over her, blotting out a bare bulb. “I return dese tings to you. You’ve got de look o’ someone what be thinkin’ deep thoughts.”
“Something like that.” A tiny green indicator light on the side of her pistol swept back and forth along the side, holding her gaze. “I need to talk to Garrison.”
Related posts:
Daughter of Mars #79 | (A Better Life Part 1)Daughter of Mars #77 | (Breaking Eggs Part 1)Daughter of Mars #74 (Blind Wish part 4)
