The Multiple-Choice Book Review

Amazon.com have added a system of drop-down menus for reviewers to use. This will be very handy for all those people who have read a book and gone to Amazon with the express intention of leaving a review, only to find themselves unable to think of any words.

There���s a summary here along with a useful graphic of the various menus:

I’m pretty sure it could use a few more options. (You know, like how there may be other metrics to judge plot than ‘surprise!’, and how we distinguish that simple topic ‘writing’ in a slightly more nuanced way than okay vs good.) So, all-round helpful person that I am, I’ve come up with a few other drop-down menus Amazon could add, in order to bring us all to a real, close, yet fully multiple-choice understanding of every book ever written. I think this should cover it nicely.

What did this book make you feel?

Joy
Mild to severe discomfort
Wistful yearning
Sexual desire for a billionaire
Seething hatred of one or more characters / the author
Anomie
Weltzschmertz

Why do you think the author wrote this book?

To bring joy to humanity
Over-confidence
Couldn’t afford therapy
Demonic possession

Does this book include krakens?

No cephalopods, sea monsters or Lovecraftian beasts whatsoever
Some tentacular activity
HORROR IN THE DEEP

If this book was an animal what would it be?

Cute puppy
Fluffy kitten
Dragonfly, fragile yet iridescent in its beauty
Filthy lumbering hog
Kraken

What is this book worth to you?

Toenail clippings (discarded)
1-3 hours of my time
Firstborn child
Later-born but secretly preferred child

How will the author respond to a bad review, in your opinion?

Obliviousness
Unconvincing gratitude
Flounce
Social media meltdown (two or more platforms)

What book should the author have written instead?

Her last one, over and over again, forever
This one, but with a different hero and maybe a different plot
One with pictures of cats
A much shorter one

What is your favourite colour? [This question is compulsory.]

Puce
Taupe
Madder
Gamboge

I look forward to seeing these enhancements to the multiple-choice reviewing experience, and welcome further suggestions in the comments.

_________________________________

KJ Charles is

a freelance editor
a romance author
inclined to sarcasm


going on holiday

��I’ll be back in mid April, see you then-ish. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. And feel free to swoon at the cover for A Fashionable Indulgence! (Loveswept, August, since you ask.)