Climb A Mountain
What it Entails:
Step 1: The hubris to assume that a non-sentient conglomeration of rock, dirt, snow and trees cares what you do.
Step 2: A willingness to be cold and live in uncomfortable conditions.
Step 3: The ability to convince others that accompanying you is a good idea.
Step 4: Choose a mountain.
Step 5: Don’t be a pansy, choose a bigger mountain. That’s right, you’re making a statement.
Step 6: Climb the mountain.
Note: Step 6 is said to be complicated, especially if you executed Step 5 with panache.
Pros:
1. If you’re doing this in style the Sherpa will carry your things.
2. You’re on top of the world. Good job. Now climb back down.
3. Consistently terrible cell phone reception.
Cons:
1. Must either carry your own things, or associate with a Sherpa.
2. Trolls are mythical, none will appear to eat any companions who end up being annoying.
3. Utter lack of foie gras on both ascent and descent.
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Published on March 23, 2015 10:00