First Draft Woes

I've been working on a novel for a while now, and I'm still amazed at how every time I write one, it seems like I've forgotten all that I've learned on the previous ones - like I'm starting all over again, full of the same doubts and feelings of being completely overwhelmed. I was about to add that at least since I've written a half-dozen novels before, I know I can do it - but even that's not necessarily true. Can I do it? Am I wasting my time? What if I've already written my best stuff, and all the ingredients that let that happen have since vanished?

In other words, I'm well into my first draft.

I have to constantly remind myself to get the words on paper and not worry about all that other stuff. For me, the magic has always happened in the rewriting. Or maybe when I let it sit, the writing ferments, or ages, and there are little elves who sneak into the pages while I sleep and spruce it up a bit. I don't know. But what I do know is that it's okay to write crap for the first draft. I have to allow myself to write crap and think it's crap (because let's face it, it probably is) and know that the first draft is merely throwing the clay on the wheel. The rewriting is the shaping of it and the smoothing of it and the firing of it and any other turning-clay-into-pottery metaphors you can think of.

But still - it's hard. Oh, wait - if it's clay, then it's fairly soft - hasn't been fired in the kiln, yet. So - um - what was I talking about???

Oh yeah - the first draft. I'm doing my best to make it my bitch.