POETRY: SHE’S GIVING IT AWAY FOR FOUR PACKETS OF TOBACCO BY PAUL TRISTRAM

She prefers Golden Virginia tobacco but at a squeeze

she will take Old Holborn or even Amber Leaf,

I’ve heard a guy passed off prison pipe tobacco, once.

And, of course, the word has spread all over Town,

teenagers are saving their paper round and pocket money,

selling school dinner tickets just to get in on the action.

(Besides it’s not much dearer than buying porn

and that, my friend, really is not to be sniffed at!)

She’s available for individual or group bookings

and her business empire is going through the roof.

She’ll pop your cherry for a handful of smoking materials,

her once quiet street has never been so full and busy,

there’s even a Burger Van started parking outside at night

serving up hot & cold beverages and snacks to the punters

queueing up patiently in the cold, wee, unfaithful hours.

She has a sign in the front room window which proclaims

in big bold letters ‘ROLL UP! ROLL UP! PIPE LAYERS

AND TRENCH DIGGERS ALWAYS WELCOME.

CUM KNOCK MY BACKDOOR AND APPLY WITHIN!”

She is not at all Religious, so is not worried about her Soul

and does not consider it an Art Form, it’s more of a Trade,

she saw a Gap in the Market and being business minded

decided to speculate to accumulate and Fill it with her Own.

Written by Paul Tristram