The Greatest Gift of All

 


In this season of gift-giving, I'll repeat what I've already said hundreds of times and in at least one blog post -- that the greatest gift you can give to yourself and future generations is the story of your life.

In writing down the story of your life, you gain a clearer picture of who you are. You revisit your hopes, dreams and fears and discover your life's main themes. You remember family traditions -- and the rites that marked your passage from childhood to adulthood. You recount your life's highlights and low points, acknowledging challenges faced and lessons learned. You express the values you hold most dear -- and your gratitude to the people who have nurtured, taught and inspired you.

By writing down the story of your life, you reaffirm what matters most in your life, enabling you to set a positive agenda for it going forward. But even more, you create a legacy for your children and grandchildren. As they embark on their own journeys of self-discovery, you and your story will help guide their way.

Most people, even those who intend to do it, never get around to writing their life story. "I don't have time," they say. Or: "I'm too busy living." My father is one of those people. He considers himself the family historian but when it comes to putting pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, he gets writer's block. The prospect of organizing it all overwhelms him: "I wouldn't know where to start."

Now he'll have some help.

For Chanukah I'm giving him a subscription to The Remembering Site -- an easy-to-navigate tool for writing your own or your family's story. The Remembering Site offers questions and categories that prod memory and help you structure your thoughts and recollections into a narrative you can email your loved ones or print out from your computer. The site will archive your story for future generations to read -- or (for an additional cost) bind it into a book. Until December 10, you can get a one-time lifetime registration fee to the site for $25; after that, it's $50. You can learn more at www.TheRememberingSite.org.

I'm also going to give a subscription to my mother's sister -- my Aunt Marlene. When I had lunch with her recently, I realized that I have no idea who my maternal great-grandparents were -- where they came from, how they lived, what they valued in their lives. I've researched and written extensively about my paternal ancestors, but if you ask me to detail my mother's side of the equation, I draw a blank. Marlene, who has by far the best memory in the family, is probably my last best hope for piecing together a portrait of my maternal grandparents and great-grandparents that I can pass on to my children.

Preserving our family's story is one of the most important pieces of business we have as human beings -- it's the way we transmit the values and personalities that shape our character and put flesh on our DNA. That's why it's so important to hear and record the stories of our parents and grandparents before they die -- and to pass on our own stories to our children. And it's why I'll be giving the gift of remembering to my father and other loved ones this holiday season.

Lee Kravitz is the author of UNFINISHED BUSINESS: One Man's Extraordinary Year of Trying to Do the Right Thing.