Getting eaten out in Seattle

Apparently, a number of restaurants have been closing their doors in Seattle in recent weeks. People on the right have been screeding that it’s because of the new $15 an hour minimum wage the city council voted for, which begins a gradual phase-in on April 1st, adding that “conservatives are so smart and liberals are so dumb.” People on the left have been screeding back, “No, sir. Restaurants close for many reasons. Oh, and liberals are so smart and conservatives are so dumb.”

Since both liberals and conservatives are assholes and liars, I decided to try to find out why, in fact, there have been so many restaurant closings in Seattle of late. I did this because I’m very bored and crossword puzzles can eat up only so much time as I edge ever closer to death.

It was tough going, lemme tell ya. I don’t know how many links I clicked and searches I conducted. Everywhere I went, it seemed, somebody had an agenda. Such is the state of “news” in our age. I did find this, however, from the Washington Restaurant Association:

"…a common budget breakdown among sustaining Seattle restaurants so far has been the following: 36 percent of funds are devoted to labor, 30 percent to food costs, and 30 percent go to everything else (all other operational costs).  The remaining 4 percent has been the profit margin, and as a result, in a $700,000 restaurant, the average restauranteur in Seattle has been making $28,000 a year…"

Ok, stop right there. Can you spot the missing money?

I have worked in many restaurants as a cook over the years and know it’s hard work for all involved, including the owner. Long-hours, razor thin margins…

But I also knew what kind of car the owner drove. Usually cars: “It’s so nice out today, I just had to take the convertible!” I knew what the owner’s wife and kids drove. I often knew what neighborhood the owners lived in and many times have been to or seen their comfy digs.

I can tell you no restaurant owner in Seattle is sputtering around in ‘95 Toyota Corolla or living in a studio apartment, even though, according to the above numbers, he only makes $28,000 a year.

I never did find out why so many restaurants in Seattle have been closing, but cry me a river on that terrible $15 an hour minimum wage, huh?