If I Were Your Monster

It had to happen. I've done almost everything there is in the field of literature except ghostwrite a celebrity bio. So with little fanfare (sit down in the back, you kids, and quit clapping--no fun allowed), here comes If I Were Your Monster, slobbering and clicking just in time for the holidays. Yes, for a limited time only, this full-color, 24-page children's book has fun rhymes, cool creatures illustrated by Lee Davis, and, well, lizard socks.

(Okay, kids, you can stand up and cheer! Hooray). Yes, you have to make your parents buy it for you. So cry, whine, pitch a brat fit, do whatever it takes to be the first kid on the block to own If I Were Your Monster. Aaaand...just in time for Christmas, special preorders are $6.95 INCLUDING SHIPPING! Yes, for less than the price of one of those stupid old grown-up books, you can have this beast at your door before St. Nick shows up and steals your tree. Or is that the Grinch?

At any rate, kids, just have your parents pay pal to hauntedcomputer AT yahoo DOT com. Or else hack their accounts and do it yourself. (Technically, I am not supposed to say that, so let me take that part back).
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