A Whole Lot of Silence and Trousers - You Can't Spell the Fade without EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

DRAGON AGE ORIGINS [DAO] STORY - CIRCLE OF MAGI, THE FADE

Content - Gaslighting, Demonic Possession.

When last we left our Alt-character, Mage, and early last-gen Rhianna* impersonator Harriet Amell, she'd returned to the only home she's ever known to find it overrun by demons.  The templars, eager to see her (in their minds) back where she belongs, demons or no demons, let her in and Morrigan victim blamed the mages in the circle.  Harriet tossed her out and instead went with Wynne, slightly pedantic, but less annoying than Morrigan and with more healing magic to boot.

Then there were some demons, and some abominations, and some books that were suspiciously bitey, and a bunch of locked chests and armoires that stayed that way because SOMEONE FORGOT TO BRING A ROGUE.**  Then they got most of the way up the tower and met a demon who made them all fall asleep.

And thus begins the shittiest part of the game not in Orzammar.

Fact is, I am not certain if Orzammar is worse.  It's longer,*** to be sure, and it's hard to give a shit about the dwarves; the problems you have to solve for them are problems they could have solved much more easily, on their own, if they had a mind to, and it's hard to feel like you have a stake in the whole thing.  Also, a lot of the dwarves are assholes, the choices you make are all of the shit sandwich on white or wheat variety, and a couple of the boss fights are sons-of-bitches.****

But Orzammar doesn't have portal puzzles or instakills, or the 7 MAGE DEATH SQUAD, that took me 8 tries to clear on Filthy Casul difficulty.*****

Looking back, I see I forgot about most of the stuff that happens in the tower between Wynne and Sloth-the-Sloth-Demon.******  Well, let's explain - the interior architecture of the Circle of Mages in Ferelden is a slightly more complex version of the Tower at Ostagar, where you and Alistair go to get your shit handed to you while your boss and your king get theirs terminally handed to them.  And like that place, there's a bunch of jerks between you and the tower.  To wit: Rage demons, who look like angry poops made out of lava, with arms,******* abominations, which look like hunchbacks with 30 gallons of melted wax over the top of them, all the same skirts and they blow up when they die; and titty demons.  Occasionally, these will talk to you, treating you to scenes of them writhing in midair, feeling themselves up and trying out sub-undergrad philosophy on you.  I should probably keep a tally of how many times I praise Inquisition for quietly not including them, anywhere in the game.  Let's add +1 to that tally right now.  Bless you DAI.

 So yeah, you get to the floor below the top, and there's a bunch of people all sacked out, some fleshy redecorating going on and an abomination with a soothing voice, and everybody falls asleep. Woo.

Harriet dreams of Weishaupt Fortress, a place in the super-distant Anderfells (where ham tastes of despair********), to which she's never been.  Duncan is there, telling her the blight is over, the Wardens one, and now they're all becoming historians.  This turn of events has Harriet a bit confused, but asking about it only makes him attack her (with two other random dream-wardens who happen to be hanging around).  Once that's managed, Harriet discovers the truth: she's in the Fade and she hasn't beaten the Blight.  Hell, she hasn't even gotten through Orzammar, yet.  Also, Fade.  So naturally she does what any sensisble person would in this case, points her wand up her nose and says "Avauda Kedavra."

Not really.  Instead she meets Niall, a mage stuck in the fade who had been trying to bring a spell that protects against blood magic mind control up to fight Uldred and the Libertarians.  Poor guy is stuck here, too.  He's been everywhere, but can't figure out how to get free, and anyway, what's the point?

Well, he has an argument.  Also, crap, this is taking for damn ever.  OK.  Finish the Fade next time.  Or, at least, get the party members back.

* I didn't set out to make a character who looked not-entirely-unlike Rhianna, but once I got close, I decided to embrace it.

** Of course, If I hadn't, my only choice would have been Leliana, so no.

*** OH MY GOD IT TAKES FOREVER WHICH IS NOT LONG AT ALL IF YOU'RE DAVID BOWIE, BUT FOR THE REST OF US MORTALS... JEEBUS FECK.

**** Or mothers-of-darkspawn.

***** Taking on seven mages by one's lonesome, regardless of the difficulty you're used to, is not recommended, especially if you have to use their shape-changing mechanic to get into the previous room.

****** Because nothing says sloth by not even bothering to have a name.

******* I have first hand experience with this sort of demon.  It involved a lot of beer and a spicy tuna roll that I think might have actually been escolar.

******** Catch that gag, it's running.