A Bastion of Good Advice
It’s a word! And not to be confused with another of similar sound (most of the time).
Late in my daughter’s senior year, I was given the task of sharing advice as she headed to college. I believe I offered sound, excellent advice that is good for anyone who is forced into a new situation.
I humbly submit my advice:
The��best��way��to deal with��the problems of��life after high school by sharing��them��with intimate friends.�� Making friends who��won���t
a)��drag you down, ��or
b) be a complete time and emotional drain.
This can be hard.
Your mother isn���t good at these things, so I���m going to give you��some advice that has helped me through��many��new beginnings.����First,��you have to identify a friend target.����Look for someone with whom you��may��have things in common and approach cautiously.�� Once within range, start��a��generic��conversation.����If��you get those��initial, warm��feelings��that they might be suitable��as a friend, loosen up and fart.�� It doesn���t have to be a chair-rattler�������just a little shooter.�� If they act startled and remove themselves from your company, they weren���t meant for you.�� If they are unfazed��or better yet, laugh with you, you might have the makings of a friend.
The next step to��further��test��your friendship��is to��pick a conspicuous moment about a week later and up the ante with another fart, building some resonance and duration to the effort.�� (It would be best to have some broccoli or chili the evening prior to the second salvo to add smell,��really testing��their resolve.)�� If at this point, you haven���t run the poor kid off, you may��just��have the��beginnings��of a wonderful friendship�������the kind��you���ll need to weather the storms of life.
Of course,��farting��is an allegory��for��sharing feelings of fear, doubt,��uncertainty, homesickness, loneliness, and/or angst.��Either will work��for this exercise, but farting is by far funnier and more memorable.��Think about the stories you���ll have looking back on your very first encounter.��Good luck.
Remember we are always here for you, but��we��know the face you make when you���re gassy.
Now you may consider the other word…
Filed under: Dad stuff
