Done Remembering

Today marks 365 days

That she’s been gone.

We went long stretches

Without talking sometimes

But never anything

Like this.

I don’t want to remember.

This day should never

Be special in any way.

She’s still dead,

Still gone.

Marking today changes nothing

Remembering today

Only serves to remind

That somehow a year

Has come and gone.

It sharpens the pain

That deadens each day.

If I’m going to remember

I want to remember

Her life, not her death

The limitless spark of her soul,

Not the limitations

Of her body.

I will remember the day

She drew her first breath

And started her journey

Through this world

Rather than her last

When she slipped into the past.

I hope I have many years

Of my own

Before I too am gone

But I do not want to count

The passing of time

Between our ends

I’m fighting back the tears

Sadness is my default

Reminding myself to smile

Remembering should be joyful

Maybe bittersweet

That’s what she’d want

So I’m done remembering

On this day

Letting it go and moving on

Because life moves on

And I can still see her smile

When I close my eyes