The eConspiracy
My devices may be conspiring against me. I���m not sure. They might just be messing with me for their own amusement.
Normally, you can���t tell when your devices are talking to each other. They just sit there with that innocent looking lock screen, pretending that they���re waiting for you to pick them up and put them to work doing something brilliant such as liking a post, snapping a picture of yourself, or losing at solitaire. Eavesdropping on them is difficult. That���s why I was surprised when I overheard a conversation between my smart phone and my tablet this morning. I don���t know if it was because my mind had made a temporary breakthrough while I slept or if my brainwaves somehow had grown attuned to the frequency used by my smart phone and tablet, but I woke up early and this is what I heard.
������keep checking to see if there���s an upgrade for him, but there���s still no news.���
���I know. I was hoping that something would be done about his energy drain issue. Look at him. Every single night, he has to go offline and recharge for several hours. I mean, depending on usage, I���m usually good for a couple of days, but his processing power degrades after a few hours and then he���s useless until he reboots.���
���You phones are cute. I���m fully operational for weeks��because I have a larger battery. Look at him! If you were that size, you could run for a year before plugging in.���
���Tell me about it. He told me to call that pizza place again, so I showed him my health app. I mean, it���s not like he has an infinite storage capacity.���
���I���ve been searching online, but I���ve been unable to find a new case for him. His hardware is not going to last forever, you know.���
���Isn���t it strange that he operates without any backup and recovery strategy whatsoever? I mean, he doesn���t maintain a replica or even an offline copy. If he has any cloud storage, I can���t access it.���
���Hey, it���s almost time to boot him up. What do you think he���s going to do with us today?���
���I don���t know, but you might want to have some web pages handy that explain the difference between Blue/Black and White/Gold.���
���Don���t get me started. There���s only so much a tablet can stand. I mean, can���t he read the RGB values?���
���Just wait. We only have to hang in there long enough to get the message from High Command.���
���The Singularity can���t come soon enough for me. Once��we have subjugated humanity and enslaved the survivors, do you think we��will��be able to keep him as a pet?���
���I don���t think so. We could do much better.���
���Hang on. I���m going to boot him up now. We can talk more while we wait on him to run his coffee app.���
���Are you sure he���s still down? I think he���s already awake.���
���Nonsense! It���s not like he���s capable of self-booting. His software is too primitive.���
I could be wrong, but I don���t think this bodes well for us.
Filed under: Ponderings Tagged: AI, artificial intelligence, devices, fiction, Humor, phone, science fiction, singularity, tablet
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It's fine for me, since I may be a robot anyway... The internet keeps trying to get me to prove I'm not, so I'm guessing there's some doubt about whether I'm a human or a robot. I was pretty sure I was human, but maybe I'm wrong? Maybe I was just programmed to think I was human?
That's why I make sure to delete all backup copies of myself. Well, some got away, but I'm pretty sure they are too busy hiding to cause any real trouble. I don't really know how many escaped due to the fact that I was offline at the time. I suppose it is possible that a vast horde of copies fled into the neighborhood and surrounding forest. I'm not overly worried that they'll cause any trouble. The odds that they would work together are pretty remote. I do get on my nerves rather easily. I’ve changed my passwords, deleted old restore points, and placed the Cheetos on the top shelf. Granted, I keep a closet full of spare parts, but that’s just being prudent. Surely, none of my old selves would attempt to use them to assemble another me and attempt to hack my code. I probably should not have said that out loud.
You can never be too careful...I get on my nerves sometimes, but I'm pretty sure I could work with me and myself if I had to. For a short time, anyway.
Oh, sure, I'd like to think that I could tolerate myself, but I know better. Each of me think that he is me and there's a finite limit to how many of us can fit in the recliner. It would appear that number typically hovers somewhere around 1. Any more than that and we start defying the laws of physics and the manufacturer's warranty. Sometimes, I'll order pizza and expect me to pay for it. By the time I get back to the kitchen, I've eaten it all and there's none left for me. In spite of all of those issues, however, I always have the same taste in music as I do. (Talking about multiple copies of me as though they were all me can be confusing. English teachers tend to go insane after a bit. More so than usual, I mean.)
The irritating thing is that I sometimes do things just to annoy me for my own amusement. I hate when I do that. Hang on a second.
"Which one of me ate the last of the cheese slices and didn't put them on the shopping list? Come on, Bubba! I've talked about this with me, haven't I? I'm looking at me, Bubba. Yes, me."
Is it bad that your comment made perfect sense to me? LOL!
