What keeps us awake at night?

The Faux News Network Research Department conducted an extensive phone survey.  The objective of the survey was to identify questions that keep people awake at night grappling with deep philosophical questions. The results of the survey are listed below.

* How does an aspirin know where to go and what to do?  How does it know you have a pain in your ingrown toenail and not a headache?

* Can a bicycle rider get a DWI ticket?  What about a skate boarder?  Power wheelchair drivers?

* Why does salmon taste like salmon no matter how you cook it?

* Fish don't have eyelids so they can't shut their eyes.  How do they sleep?

* Will the sun really go nova in a few billion years?

*If a Supreme Being exists, what are the chances He is really a She?  Or an It?

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Publishers note: The Faux News Network Research Department spent a ton of money to come up with these inane questions. Consequently, the entire research staff has been sacked. The new, restructured Research Department will develop much better questions.  Or else!

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