The Fiver | Come on Tim!

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Everyone likes to see a big club get relegated, it’s the best part of football. What would be more satisfying than watching, say, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur all slipping down the divisions in the next couple of seasons? Nothing, that’s what! (Though we’d need at least Nottingham Forest and Nasty Leeds to finally come back up, so The Fiver still has some people to project its barely concealed feelings of inadequacy on to.) So most people, it’s fair to assume, will be fervently hoping to see relegation-haunted Aston Villa drop down to the second division. Nothing against the midlands giants per se, but you can’t have Big Cup on your CV if you want people to prefer you over Burnley, that’s just the way things work. They’ve made their bed, and now they’re thrashing about in it, crying. We have empathy.

A ‘GUARDIAN YOUNG TEAM’ DO? YES, YOU SHOULD APOLOGISE FOR THE GLOBAL

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