The UN Says We're Eating Too Much Sugar

Blow me, UN.

How ‘bout you shut the fuck up and leave me and my sugar alone? If I wanna eat too much of it, I will. I’ll snort it if I want, rub it on my nipples, tuck it away in the secret crevices of my body.

Besides, do you think we don’t know? What, are you like Hillary Clinton and think we’re all a bunch of dumbass cattle? I’ve got my belly telling me I’m eating too much sugar. I ain’t listening to it, why would I listen to you?

Why exactly are you even here, UN? What exactly have you ever accomplished? How about you prevent even one war, then maybe I’ll listen to your diet advice.

Now sit the fuck down.

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