What is Transparenting?

If you’re a parent, you know how scary it is when your child starts pulling away from you. And it’s frightening when they stop communicating. One of the reasons it’s so frightening is we never feel like we’re done parenting, or honestly, that they’re ready. We are deathly afraid they are going to repeat our mistakes. We fear they will have our temper, or daydream like we do. We fear they’ll argue the way we sometimes argue with our spouse.

Pulling away is, of course, natural in various phases of a child’s development. And every parent has fears. You’re not alone, for sure.

Kids are going to pull away to define their own identities, but some parents are trying something different and it’s helping them stay in the loop with their kids, and staying in the loop is the key to remaining influential in their lives.

What they’re trying is this:

More transparency.

By that I mean they’re letting their kids in on their own shortcomings. One way to increase the chances of your kids not having your faults is to, well, admit them.

That’s not to say these parents are telling their kids everything, or making their kids feel like their problems are somehow their children’s fault, only that they are letting their kids know they’re human, too. And more, that it’s okay to be human.

Photo Credit: Mikaela Hamilton

Kids who grow up in homes where they learn it’s okay to make mistakes are much more likely to grow into healthy adults. If you think about it, a child that grows up learning it’s okay to make mistakes and they don’t have to hide their true, flawed, selves is much more likely to go to their parents for support and advice. Why? Because they learned from their parents they don’t have to hide.

When we go to our kids and say things like “Hey, son, can we talk? I noticed you’ve got a bit of a temper. I want to tell you I think you got that from me. I’m sorry. I feel terrible. Can I tell you how much it’s cost me and what I’ve learned to do about it? And can we stay in conversation about it? Mostly, though, please know I’m sorry about that. Parents tend to pass their best and worst characteristics on, so let’s mitigate the damage as much as possible.”

Now that’s a dream parent.

But it’s not always that easy.

Just being more authentic and vulnerable with your kids will change the life of your family forever. But there’s a lot more to being a great parent than that.

If you want to know more about NOT passing your faults on to your kids, we’ve created a monumental tool to help. We hired a film crew and flew some experts to Nashville to work directly with a young couple trying to raise their kids well. What happened on camera was awesome.

We’re releasing the material in the form of an online course. In just 5 sessions, you and your spouse will get much-needed inspiration and strategy about becoming great parents. And it’s about a 100th of the price of family counseling. For the next 2 weeks, you get the course for $39.95 (offer expires March 17th).

Before bed each night, plop a laptop on a pillow and spend 20 minutes with Mark and Jan Foreman, parents of Jon and Tim Foreman who front the band Switchfoot.

And learn from them how to be great parents.

Mark and Jan don’t pretend to have it all figured out, but it’s hard to argue with their success. They’re the humblest of guides and you’ll find yourself encouraged and inspired.

Right now you can watch the introduction to the course for free. Even the free introduction will give you inspiration you may need as a parent. And until March 17th, the course is available for $10 off. The value is incredible.

Here’s to raising a generation of adults who are comfortable in their own skin, feel free to be human, and consider their parents some of their closest friends.

What is Transparenting? is a post from: Storyline Blog