A Southern Language Primer from Aunt Velma and #VinesofEntanglement
Aunt Velma’s tapestry pocketbook
Aunt Velma and Southern women carry pocketbooks not purses.
Aunt Velma and Southern women call their fathers “Daddy” until the day they���not their fathers���die.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know the only proper places to vacation���the rivah, the beach or the crick.
Aunt Velma and Southern women call everybody either���Honey, Shugah or Darlin’.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know religion���Baptist, Methodist and ACC basketball.
Aunt Velma and Southern women cherish the homeplace���the house and/or land where the family originated.
Aunt Velma and Southern women prefer men in uniform, tuxedos or pick up trucks.
Aunt Velma and Southern women never assume a flashing turn signal means a car is actually going to turn.
Aunt Velma and Southern women utilize “fixin'” as a multi-use word���a noun, verb or adverb.
Aunt Velma and Southern women when standing in line make friends with everyone.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know that a stranger is a friend they haven’t yet met.
Aunt Velma and Southern women take hospitality seriously like a missionary calling.
Aunt Velma and Southern women realize that in a room of 100 Southerners, half they’ll discover to be relatives, if only by marriage.
Aunt Velma and Southern women consider relatives by marriage close kin.
Aunt Velma and Southern women understand that y’all is singular and all y’all is plural.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know that barbecue is a noun; NEVER a verb.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know that the quickest way to offend a Southerner is to imitate their unique culture and/or accent.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know the difference between a redneck, good ole boy and po’ white trash.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know that some people have character and some people are characters.
Aunt Velma and Southern women prefer the scenic route���versus the direct���in telling a story or making a point.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know that if it’s not sweet tea, they don’t want it.
Aunt Velma and Southern women understand that men come and go, but friends are fah-eh-vah.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know “bless your heart” can mean something bad or good���and they use it both ways depending on context.
Aunt Velma and Southern women frequent the club, the mall and beauty parlors.
Aunt Velma and Southern women have hissy fits and pitch conniptions.
Aunt Velma and Southern women want a kiss when they request someone “gimme some sugar.”
Aunt Velma and Southern women know exactly how long “I’ll be back directly” really is and when “by and by” will occur.
Aunt Velma and Southern women know where “yonder” lies.
Aunt Velma and Southern women feel compelled to feed people when friends are in trouble.
Aunt Velma and Southern women may have the biggest mouths, but they also have the biggest hearts.
Hoping you have an Aunt Velma or a Southern friend in your life. :)
This is a public service announcement brought to you, courtesy of Aunt Velma and Vines of Entanglement.
