Stop—Don’t Return that Necklace!

Lana Trilogy Necklace

As you may know, I work in the jewelry and watch department at a luxury retailer. I really enjoy my job—the customers, the products, the opportunity to assist men and women with choosing the perfect gift or complementary piece to an outfit. I come home tired, but it is a good tired.

I have noticed a trend, a self-defeating behavior, and I must speak out. Many women complain that their husbands never buy them jewelry. Why do some men buy their wives jewelry and some do not? I propose one simple answer to this question. Let me describe an actual example of how we teach our husbands to not buy us the baubles we yearn for.

I look across the department and see a man with bed hair, wearing sweats and sneakers. He is looking at necklaces, and I greet him. After a few minutes of discussion, he chooses a $300 Lagos heart necklace. I box it for him and he departs, happy with his gift.

Two weeks later his wife comes into the department to return it. I greet her and tell her the care with which he chose the gift. She asks, “Was he cute when he was buying it?” I smile and say “yes, he was really particular in choosing something he thought you would like.” “Well,” she sniffs, “after twenty-one years of marriage he’s beginning to get it.” I ask, “Is there anything I can show you as a replacement?” She says “no, just put the money back on the credit card.”

How likely is it that her husband is going to buy her another piece of jewelry? Not very. This self-defeating behavior is, sadly, a situation I see frequently.

What should this woman have done to encourage her husband in his new (by her description) behavior? Wear the necklace!!! Give her husband a big kiss and a roll in the hay. Show appreciation that he ran to the store and thought of her. Don’t be a spoiled brat.

If she was really smart she should have asked for the receipt and gone to the store where the item was purchased. She should have found the salesperson who assisted her husband and said, “You know, this isn’t really my style, but I don’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings. Let me show you a few items I would love to have.” A partnership between the salesperson and the customer is forged, a list is made that the salesperson will keep, and a business card is given to the customer. The wife goes home wearing the original necklace and tells her husband that she happened to be in the store where he purchased the gift and met the salesperson. She thanked the salesperson for helping her sweetie choose the gift. She told the salesperson what she liked in the department for their upcoming anniversary, and of course it coordinates with the wonderful necklace he picked out for her. She gives him a kiss and thanks him again for thinking of her.

This is how you do it, my friends. Encourage your men with a little honey and be grateful for the presents they give you. Utilize the services of an experienced salesperson to assist you, and for heaven’s sake wear the necklace.

P.S. This doesn’t mean you can’t buy yourself a bauble or two. I will reserve that topic for future posts.