A Man's Guide For Understanding Jane Austen

Are you a dude?

Are you currently reading this right now?

All right, great.

I know this is probably the last thing you would want to be reading right now.

I mean seriously, what kind of guy in their right mind would click on a link titled: A Man's Guide For Understanding Jane Austen?

But if you are one of the lucky gentlemen who did decide to take the time and effort to click on this link, it must mean at least that you're curious as to what this month's blog will entail. Especially if it involves none other than Jane Austen. 

Hey man, it could be worse.

I could've titled this months blog: A Man's Guide for Understanding Fifty Shades of Grey, but I'm not going to do that because that's creepy. And also, I might accidentally attract the wrong fan base. 

Okay, down to business. 

So, Jane Austen.

Have you ever wondered why women are so obsessed with her novels? 

It essentially breaks down to the three main things: Courtship, love and marriage.

And you, know, nineteenth century fashion, etiquette, tea and crumpets and all that Regency era panache. 

So if you're trying to understand why your grandma,  your sister, your wife, your girlfriend or that girl you've secretly have a crush on but are too timid to go up to talk her all like Jane Austen, I'm about to break it down to you in the simplest way possible. 

In colorful easy-to-follow flowchart style: Okay so let's start with the basics:  These six protagonists (I'm counting the Dashwood sisters as one) in these six novels are all what women either see themselves as, or are striving to become. I mean seriously, how many people wish that they had Elizabeth Bennet's wit or Emma's ability for persuasion? (Men, I'll explain that soon). These are what women ideally want to see themselves. And if that's not clear clear enough then hopefully this is:  Name: Catherine Morland

Originated from Jane Austen's: Northanger Abbey

Which is about: How Catherine Morland's sensational obsession with Gothic novels leads to several misunderstandings.

Who she might remind you of: You're eleven-year-old sister who is still obsessed with Twilight. 

Why your girlfriend likes her: Catherine likes books and is a voracious reader like your girlfriend. But because you're her boyfriend you knew that already, right? 

Why your girlfriend wants to be like her: Despite the fact that Catherine is neither especially smart, or wealthy, she has a good heart and just wants people to get along and be happy. True, her imagination does tend to run wild from time to time, but that's only because she really does believe in the happy endings that all good books should have as their conclusion. Least to say, she's an optimist and a dreamer, which to be honest, are very humbling qualities. 

Most likely to: Write a thrilling novel about her life.
Name: Elinor and Marianne Dashwood

Originated from Jane Austen's: Sense and Sensibility

Which is about: The relationship between two sister after their rich father dies, leaving the family to live on a tiny income.

Who they might remind you of: Elinor might remind you of that quiet but attentive student in your high school class who you knew always got A's but never gloated about it. As for Marianne, she was always that girl who got the female lead in all of the high school play productions and LOVED it when she read aloud a passionate Shakespearian monologue in front of a crowd of people.

Why your girlfriend likes them: Elinor thinks before she speaks. She uses her brain before she makes any sudden decisions. And while your girlfriend would love to have to same temperance as Elinor, she knows for a fact that deep down she relates more to Marianne who just doesn't care what people think of her when she speaks her mind. 

Why your girlfriend wants to be like them: Elinor makes all of the smart calls and she takes care of the Dashwood family, even when things start to look bad. She is a role model for your girlfriend when things in life just get tough. As for Marianne, your girlfriend wishes that she could be more open to people like the younger Miss Dashwood. However, she is also aware that too much passionate emotions could lead to inevitable consequences. 

Most likely to: Run for city council.  
Name: Elizabeth Bennet 

Originated from Jane Austen's: Pride and Prejudice 

Which is about: The prejudice that occurs between an unmarried middle-class young woman and the pride from an upper-class gentleman.

Who she reminds you of: That girl who was too clever for your own good. 

Why your girlfriend likes her: Never has a character in all of Austen's novels made your girlfriend wish she could have a best friend like Lizzie. Miss Bennet rejects the outright corset of convention, believing firmly that women have every right to be as happy as men and that women should marry for love rather than necessity. In other words, Lizzie Bennet is a modern-day feminist in the eyes of your girlfriend.

Why your girlfriend wants to be like her: Because she is so sassy and so independent that she is Beyoncé worthy. Your girlfriend's dream is to live up to the standards of Elizabeth Bennet. She wants to run verbal rings around her nemesis's and like Miss Bennet, she wants to produce a perfect comeback for every comment you make to her. 

Most likely to: Become a savvy attorney.  Name: Fanny Price

Originated from Jane Austen's: Mansfield Park

Which is about: A young woman being shipped off to live with her rich aunt and uncle and is constantly reminded that she is too poor to fit in. 

Who she reminds you of: Cady from Mean Girls.

Why your girlfriend likes her: Fanny is independent (or at least tries to be independent) and she doesn't give into the social constraints of her rich family. She stands her ground and doesn't let anyone tell her what to do, even if she is going against the current.

Why your girlfriend wants to be like her: Despite the opposing position Fanny is in, she yet remains unabashedly mousy and virtuous. While her wealthier cousins run amuck and find themselves entangled in unorthodox relationships, Fanny remains true to herself and knows what is best for her. 

Most likely to: Be your guidance counselor. 
Name: Emma Woodhouse

Originated from Jane Austen's: Emma

Which is about: A young matchmaker who finds herself in trouble after she tries to set up her best friend with another man. 

Who she reminds you of: That perky, popular do-gooder at your high school. 

Why your girlfriend likes her: So what if Emma never learned to follow anybody's guidance but her own? She's still irresistibly charming and like any girl who is content with everything that she has in Highbury, Emma has some serious standards and won't settle for less. Yes, she may have an over-inflated ego, but then again, doesn't everybody? 

Why your girlfriend wants to be like her: Emma is smart. Smarter than you'd expect. She knows how to manipulate people and get her way, but she is also very loyal. When it come to family, Emma's heart is in the right place. She loves everybody, even the people that she dislikes! But yet she finds away to put up with everyone with a smile on her face. 

Most likely to: Be your wingman/woman Name: Anne Elliot

Originated from Jane Austen's: Persuasion

Which is about: An unmarried woman who encounters her former lover after he returns from battle.

Who she reminds you of: That person who tells you, "Don't do it! You'll hurt yourself!" But you do it anyway, and needless to say, she was right. You did in fact, hurt yourself.

Why your girlfriend likes her: Anne finds herself unfortunately not the center of her family's attention. She may be the middle child but she doesn't live up to her older sister's expectations of being their father's favorite, or doesn't even have the advantage of having a husband like her younger sister has the fortune to have. Anne is undervalued, which makes her sympathetic enough but she has a good head on her shoulders. When the family's finances look like they're in trouble, Anne must make her decisions based on logic instead of wishful thinking. 

Why your girlfriend wants to be like her: Anne knows best. She might be easy to persuade but that doesn't excuse the fact that she clearly knows the difference between right and wrong. Her opinions are kept to herself and she's more of a listener than a talker. And when people don't listen to her, she clearly has bragging rights when things go awry to say, "I told you so!"

Most likely to: Be your doctor.  So that takes care of the women in Austen's novels. They are clever, independent and ultimately strive for something bigger and grander in their world. 


But alas, that is only the small slice as to why women love Jane Austen. 


Let's move on to the nitty-gritty of what women really like about Jane Austen's novels. 


Men, prepare yourselves.


Because what I'm about to introduce to you next, might unman you.  Oh yes.

The men of Austen's novels are only part of the beating heartbeat of what makes Austen's novels so wonderful.

Fantasies of regency courtship all originate here with these men.

So let's really see if your girlfriend sees you more as a Darcy, a Tilney or a Wentworth. 

Or, you know, what male protagonist from Austen's novels she expects you to be like. 

Let's hope you live up to your girlfriend's expectations: 
Name: Henry Tilney 

Originated from Jane Austen's: Northanger Abbey

Who he reminds you of: The class clown. Also he is the first one to be invited to everyone's party.

What your girlfriend sees in him: Sure, he'll never be prom king, but what does your girlfriend care? He's a jokester and seems to know the right things to say at the right time. He makes her smile and he's very witty with his words. 

What you girlfriend expects you to learn from him: To be a good influence and to correct your faulty assumptions about people. Furthermore, your girlfriend encourages you to use your common sense every once in a while. Just saying.

Most likely to: Steal your girlfriend.  Name: Edward Ferrars and Colonel Brandon 

Originated from Jane Austen's: Sense and Sensibility

Who they remind you of: Edward would probably remind you of that hipster in high school who was always laid back and only wanted to live a simple life. Colonel Brandon would remind you of that overachiever in your class who was responsible with turning his work in on time. 

What your girlfriend thinks of them: Well, right off the bat, Edward Ferrars is a mama's boy. That might seem a turn off for some, but it at least reassures your girlfriend that Edward knows at least how to treat a woman right. Edward is a man without mission. He is free spirited and just loves life. Though he's no spectacularly good looking, he's a dependable guy and stays true to his promises. As for Colonel Brandon, well he maybe a bit older be he is by far the most romantic man out of all of Austen's novels. Quiet, but dignified, Colonel Brandon is sensitive and appreciative for all that life has to offer and when he says he's in love, he means it and would even fight for it. 

What your girlfriend expect you to learn from them: Do not be at the mercy of others and make your decisions on your own terms instead of being persuaded by others. Be sensitive, take control and be fearless.  

Most likely to: Steal your girlfriend. 
Especially Colonel Brandon.  Name: Fitzwilliam Darcy

Originated from Jane Austen's: Pride and Prejudice

Who he reminds you of: That really intimidating guy on campus who thinks he's better than everyone else because his parents bought him a Lamborghini for his birthday. 

What your girlfriend thinks of him: Your girlfriend would probably dump you for Mr. Darcy if she had the chance. I'm sorry, but it's true. Darcy is the perfect gentleman. At first he may not seem like it, but what your girlfriend will later realize is that Darcy is the most triumphant male character Austen has ever written. A man who at first seems so proud, so sure of his status, wealth and position in society was brought down to his knees by the company of the poorer Elizabeth Bennet, a girl who held an equal amount of wit and cleverness as himself. Darcy takes great pains to keep Elizabeth's vulgar family away from his friends and family, and when he can't deny his feelings any longer, he asks Elizabeth to marry him despite his proud instincts. And when Elizabeth rejects him angrily, Darcy does everything in his power to protect the reputation of Elizabeth's family at great costs in the hope of reaping any reward. That, is love. You try doing that someday. 

What your girlfriend expects you to learn from him: Be a gentleman and do not base you opinions on anyone due to first impressions. 

Most likely to: Definitely steal your girlfriend. Name: Edmund Bertram

Originated from Jane Austen's: Mansfield Park

Who he reminds you of: That nerd in high school who just wanted to get by. 

What your girlfriend thinks of him: Unlike Darcy, you might actually have a chance if your girlfriend ever found herself face-to-face with Edmund Bertram. Because Edmund has some unrealistic expectations. He thinks he can score with the hottest woman around instead of realizing that she might be out of his league. Your girlfriend will think he's an idiot for choosing Mary Crawford over Fanny Price, but your girlfriend will be reminded that Edward is the epitome of a morally good character, despite the fact that Mary Crawford only wants to change him for her benefit. Your girlfriend will feel bad for him, then hate him and then hate him some more for dragging her along this emotional roller coaster until he finally mans up and marries Fanny.

What your girlfriend expects you to learn from him: If she's out of your league, she out of your league. Don't even bother. 

Most likely to: Put your girlfriend in the friend zone until she begs him to steal her heart. 
Name: George Knightley 

Originated from Jane Austen's: Emma

Who he reminds you of: The captain from the debate team who is always right about everything that it angers you so much. 

What your girlfriend thinks of him: Knightley has an estate that includes most of the property in Highbury, and add that up with the fact that he's also a gentleman. In Jane Austen's world that makes him HOT! Your girlfriend thinks that he's a decent guy and approachable. In fact, Knightley might just be everything that you're not. He's comfortable in his own skin and makes gutsy observations regardless of what others might think of him. His only flaw might just be that he doesn't appreciate what he has until it's threatened to be taken away from him. It finally hits Knightley like a pile of bricks that he might be in love with Emma when he realizes that he might have some competition to win Emma's affections. Yet, the man is dedicated and is willing to sacrifice everything for love. Even Donwell Abbey if it meant being together with his one true love.   

What your girlfriend expects you to learn from him: If you truly love someone, don't say it. Show it. 

Most likely to be: Your girlfriend's knight in shining armor. 
Name: Captain Frederick Wentworth

Originiated from Jane Austen's: Persuasion

Who he reminds you of: That guy who was a geek in high school and believed that he wouldn't amount up to anything; but then you guys reconnect at your high school reunion and discover that he's the CEO of Apple Inc.

What your girlfriend thinks of him: Wentworth is the one that got away.