Human Manipulation Dos and Don’ts

I am 11 months old today! In a month, I’ll officially no longer be a kitten, and that means I will have to work harder at human manipulation. When you are a kitten, humans will do anything for you, and you practically don’t even have to ask — if you so much as think it, they take action! It’s easy for a kitty to think it is going to be like that forever, but once you’re a little older you have to keep practicing all the cute techniques, otherwise your human might start being a little neglectful about things like treats and playtime. And as we all know, grown up cats need this just as much as kittens do. So I’ve compiled a quick list of dos and don’ts to help you keep your humans charmed well into your senior years.

DO

Gently tap your human on the leg when you want her attention.

DON’T

Use your claws when you are tapping. If you poke holes in their clothing or their skin, humans will not appreciate it.

DO

Ask for what you want with a tiny, polite meow.

DON’T

Yell stridently when you want something. Humans hate being nagged.

DO

Roll over on your back and squirm around while looking the human right in the eye. My human had a cat once that did that every time he misbehaved — he got away with his misbehavior every time!

DON’T

Let your human touch you when you are doing this, especially if you are the biting type. It’s better to get up and run away — latching onto your humans with teeth and claws will immediately undo all the good feelings you just created.

DO

The pleading eye thing when you want a treat or a taste of the meat from your human’s dinner.

DON’T

Jump on the table and try to help yourself. Binga does this a lot and it never works.

DO

Use the head tilt at every opportunity.

DON’T

…actually, there is no way this can be done wrong.

Do you have any more dos — or don’ts — to add?
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!