Conversations with a Future Son-In-Law
Three of our daughters got married within seven months of each other. I was hemorrhaging money! My best advice to fathers of the bride is this: pray, pay and stay out of the way.
But, long before the wedding, I was convicted to invest some time in my future son-in-laws. They were, and still are amazing men and I couldn’t have a better relationship with them. But about marriage – they didn’t know, what they didn’t know. And I thought it was my job to tell them.
So, shortly after they were engaged, I made them each this offer; “I’d like to get to know you better and give you an opportunity to know me better as well. So, let’s go away for four or five days, to any place in the U.S. you’d like, and do something fun together. But there’s another reason for this trip. With your future mother-in-law’s permission, I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned about marriage – how to handle your first temptation, what you should and shouldn’t do when you have your first serious fight and other real life issues they rarely talk about in pre-marriage counseling.”
The look on their faces told it all. The first part of my offer, about the fun, brought all smiles. The last part, not so much. They probably felt like I’d handed them keys to a Porsche, then told them to drive it over a cliff!
But, we went. Three separate trips. One chose spring skiing in California. Another chose rock climbing in Colorado and the last flat-boat fishing in the Florida Keys. And we had a ball!
But, long before the wedding, I was convicted to invest some time in my future son-in-laws. They were, and still are amazing men and I couldn’t have a better relationship with them. But about marriage – they didn’t know, what they didn’t know. And I thought it was my job to tell them.
So, shortly after they were engaged, I made them each this offer; “I’d like to get to know you better and give you an opportunity to know me better as well. So, let’s go away for four or five days, to any place in the U.S. you’d like, and do something fun together. But there’s another reason for this trip. With your future mother-in-law’s permission, I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned about marriage – how to handle your first temptation, what you should and shouldn’t do when you have your first serious fight and other real life issues they rarely talk about in pre-marriage counseling.”
The look on their faces told it all. The first part of my offer, about the fun, brought all smiles. The last part, not so much. They probably felt like I’d handed them keys to a Porsche, then told them to drive it over a cliff!
But, we went. Three separate trips. One chose spring skiing in California. Another chose rock climbing in Colorado and the last flat-boat fishing in the Florida Keys. And we had a ball!
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