I struggle w/ the "you deserve someone who is 5 minutes early to see you always" mentality, & the "i love the good & bad in you" mentality. You've posted things about both- not that it makes you hypocritical at all, but what do you see as the difference be

This is such an insightful question, I’m going to try and answer it as honestly as I can. A lot of it is instinctual. A lot of it goes on a person by person basis. A lot of it is like this, when somebody likes you, genuinely likes and cares for your well-being, they try their absolute hardest for you. The difference between someone who needs to be alone without you for a bit and someone who uses distance to control you is how they communicate with you about that, and the important word there is communication. A person who wants to fuck you up a little bit leaves you waiting for them. A person who cares about you but needs space tells you that. It’s so much about feeling and gauging and instinctually understanding whether somebody is good or bad for you. Things like repeating behaviour that they know makes you feel insecure and using your vulnerabilities against you. It’s all very touch and go, I think. A lot of learning in the process of it all, I think.