The New Game Show… NAME THAT SPOUSE!!!

Here's the deal — I like to blog about all the random things going on in my life, which means I tend to bring up my husband, daughter, and Riley the Wonder Dog.  While Riley's a media whore, I want to respect the privacy of everyone else, but typing "my husband" and "my daughter" again and again is awfully generic.

My solution?  I want to give them cool nicknames.  Like "Renegade" and "Rosebud," the Secret Service names for Barack and Sasha Obama.  Except without leaking their true identities to the media, which seems to defeat the purpose.

The thing is, I'm not so great with names.  I think I did well in Populazzi — I'm really happy with all the names there — but for a long time I wrote mystery parties, and would gravitate to monikers like "Brigitte Boudoir," "Drake Manley," and my personal favorite, "Testicles."  (It was for a Greek Mythology party, and pronounced "Test-i-clees")

So here's my thought: maybe you can help me.  We'll start with my husband.  I'll toss out some ideas, and you can vote for what you like best.  I'm also totally open to write-in submissions.  By the end of the month, I'm thinking we'll have a solid favorite, and that'll be his blog handle from here on in.

My thoughts so far…

'Stache — Remember I told you about the mystery parties?  Being a true mensch, my husband went to almost all of them (he actually was Testicles), and therefore has a ready supply of costume pieces… including a staggering array of fake mustaches.

The Quaker — This has nothing to do with religion, but with the fact that he seems to have infinite tolerance, at least when it comes to me.  Left to his own devices, he's very tidy, while I'm a tornado of chaos.  After 12 years of marriage, I'm amazed that he still has a smile on his face when he picks up a tangle of trash from my late-night work area (a.k.a. the dining room table) and asks, "Are we saving this for something?"

Manimal — Am I the only one who remembers this TV show?  1983?  A doctor who helps solve crimes by shape-shifting into different animals?  As the opening narration said: "Jonathan Chase, master of the secrets that divide man from animal, animal from man… Manimal!"  The show was a bust, but the name is brilliant and needs to be resurrected.  Could now be the time?  Your call.

Sheldon — This one has nothing to do with my husband, but the name has made me happy ever since Billy Crystal's rant in When Harry Met Sally. If this one wins, I'll get to actively use the phrase "Ride me, big Sheldon," which is awesome.

Addison — My own fantasy fulfillment.  My first serious dream man was David Addison of Moonlighting, so this would be my way of finally snagging him.

Coolio — I mean this not as a reference to the rapper, but simply because my husband is WAAAAAAY cooler than I am.  With a few exceptions, all my references are from the 80′s.  My husband, however, is up on everything: music, pop culture, trends… he knows it all.  Countless times he's turned on the radio and I've said, "What is this song?  I've never heard of it."  His response?  "Of course you haven't.  It's only been in the top ten for six weeks."

Picasso — My husband's an artist, which blows me away.  I can't even draw a straight line; he went to art school and even thinks visually.  He works in the movie industry, in licensing, creating visual languages to express the core visions of films.  It's very cool, but not quite as cool as the fact that our daughter always turned in the most awesome kindergarten art projects ever.  At some point I'll upload pictures of her leprechaun trap and her sculpted Medieval castle, complete with moving parts.

Zucchini — This one's from him.  I tend to slip away one weekend day a week and write at Panera, so he hangs with our daughter.  When she was 2 or 3, I came back and he'd given her a fabulous manicure and pedicure… and had done so in the guise of Zucchini.  Zucchini pulls out all the stops — hand soaks, two coats of paint — and he always knows the best nail colors for the season.  Our daughter's 6 now, and Zucchini's very much still in business.

VonAire — This one's from our daughter.  She constructs elaborate romantic fantasies in which everyone is in love with her, and one day she popped out with "VonAire" as the name of her dream man.  Out of nowhere.  I kinda love it, and would be proud to declare myself Mrs. VonAire.

So that's what I've got so far — nine options.  As I said, I'm open to write-ins too.  By the end of the month, I'll look at everyone's thoughts and officially christen my husband with his new blog alias.

Can't wait to see what it'll be!