Dear David – Paranormal Advice from Vampire David Hilliard

Welcome and keep those letters coming.  If you have a paranormal problem, I'd love to help.  Let's see who we have today.

Dear David,

I'm having this issue with a totally hot but infuriating vampire that jets around. You see he has this thing for nibbling on me but somehow this women has shown up. A total hussy if I might add. He thinks she's his dead wife from back in the day. I can't stake her because she isn't a vampire.

Meanwhile the vamp who shall remain nameless is still hocking up with me.

What should I do?

–Totally Confused

Dear Totally Confused,

Wow. I'm sorry. Being human is hard enough without being tied up with a vampire. Actually being tied up to a vampire preferably with silk scarves is quite fun, but I digress.

You're right, of course, you can't stake her. That won't solve anything. Though it's unlikely you're stand trial for murder, because if he is that emotionally attached to her, he'll just make her a vampire. Then you will never have a chance with him.

I will tell you one thing. Vampires are very jealous creatures. You could take up with another hot vampire. Either he will be so jealous, he'll ignore his returned wife and come back to you or he won't. But on the bright side, this new vampire might be hotter and more fun. If you decide to take this route, let me know and I'll hook you up.

Don't be totally confused any longer. Be open to new possibilities.

–David

If anyone has a problem with the paranormal they'd like advice on, email me at NightsofPassionBlog@gmail.com with Dear David in the subject line.

I don't claim any psychological expertise and the opinions expressed are solely mine and not necessarily the views of Nights of Passion. This column is for entertainment and not meant to replace psychological guidance. If you would like to add on our letter today, I welcome your comments.

–Vampire David Hilliard

—Susan Hanniford Crowley

Filed under: Dear David, romance, Susan Hanniford Crowley, vampire books, vampires