other stuff i assume i could be if i quit writing...

When I get a not so nice review I usually allow myself to wallow for one day. One day to bury my head in the sand and hide and feel sorry for myself. ONE. If I go beyond that it is just ridiculous because it is unreasonable and sad to expect that everyone in the whole world should like you and/or your work--whether your work is phone service or fiction writing.

I found a bad review quite by accident. It was buried amidst so many good ones, and still, that one bad one instantly negated all the numerous good ones for me (because I have issues, yo). So today is my official wallow day.

Since finding the one bad kernel amongst a whole can of good ones, I have watched episode two of The Walking Dead on demand (nothing says self loathing like zombies), I have written several pages of new book (and questioned and second guessed every durn word), the man dragged me to the home improvement store--which was oddly soothing and nice in a bizarre "this is like a mental institution but with power tools" kind of way, walked his fatness with the man.

I am now sitting in front of my fake wood burning stove heater thingy my mother-in-law bought me contemplating the virtues of a self-shaming nap. (I would like to note that the fake fireplace heater thing is next to our actual functioning gas fireplace that we are too cheap to run). Whilst I sit here and enjoy this false blaze, I have made a short sad list of things I could be if I quit writing (and apparently assaulting folks with my thin veil of fiction wrapped around gobs of sex). Here goes:


$ dog salon receptionist (There is a dog salon by our home. Twice now they have put HELP WANTED signs in the window and I have chickened out to go in and apply. For whatever bizarre reason, this has become my mental dream job (no, I am not kidding) should people stop buying my books and we require stuff like food and heat and shelter)
$ home improvement store worker person (like I said, oddly soothing in bright, clinical, soft rock being piped in overhead way)
$ the 'would you like fries with that' girl at any fast food restaurant (this needs zero explanation)
$ grocery store worker (again, oddly calming to me, possibly because I own one tween, one teen and one man and I am CONSTANTLY there, so to me it is like an extension of home only with food cold storage, bright lights, stock boys and again with the soft rock)
$ professional TV watcher (again, no explanation needed. seriously, if you need one, call me, we'll talk.)
That's my list for now. There might be others, but those are all I can think of. That nap is looking pretty good, wallowing is exhausting.
XOXOSommer