The Social Aspect of Adoption
According to PBS.org, there are 135,000 children adopted each year in the United States.
There are many reasons why parents may wish to put their baby up for adoption, including not having support, being a single parent, not being able to care for the baby on their own, and being a teen mom or even religious or cultural reasons.
In China, for example, there have been laws against having more than one child (there are exceptions to this rule, though). If the couple were to have a girl but wish for a boy, they may put the little girl up for adoption.
Make the Connection
For parents looking to reunite with the baby they put up for adoption, social media can help connect them to their child.
First, make sure to join the most popular social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google Plus.
If you know the name of the adoptive parents, you can perform a simple search and see if you can find their social profiles. If so, you can send them a private message to open up a form of dialogue.
Keep in mind, though, that there is a chance the adoptive parents will not want to hear from you. If the adoption was closed, you may not be able to open up a form of communication.
It’s best to contact the adoption agency with any questions you have and to make sure it’s allowed to speak to the adoptive parents before making contact.
Simplify the Search
If you do not know the names of the adoptive parents, you can’t just perform a simple search on your Facebook account.
Instead, you can create a status update that states you are looking for your adopted son or daughter. You can state their birth date, what you think they may look like and where you think they may be living. This status could get “shared” among friends and family and lead you to the person you are looking for.
Again, make sure that this is allowed by the adoption agency before moving forward.
As the article “Reuniting with the baby you put up for adoption” notes, a reunion is a brave step that you need to be prepared for. You also need to prepare yourself for the chance that the child does not want to meet you.
Decide beforehand what your goals are and what you wish to get out of the relationship. Do you want to maintain contact a few times per year or do you just want to see that they are happy and doing well and not have a constant stream of contact?
This should all be decided prior to the meeting, assuming the child and adoptive parents are willing to reconnect.
Discovering a Lost One
Even if the child does not want to reunite, you can use social media to find them and see what they are up to in their life.
You can learn a little bit about the child you put up for adoption by seeing where they live, what they do for a living (assuming they are older than 18) and what they look like. Try not to obsess over meeting him or her and forming a relationship with them. Remember, relationships take time and the baby you put up for adoption may be hurt or confused as to why that happened and they may not wish to see you.
In the end, respect their wishes and try to move forward.
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