Go see “Jupiter Ascending”

We all know it’s going to tank. People have been gunning for this film because they still haven’t forgiven the Wachowskis for the two “Matrix” sequels. This despite their fantastic work on “Speed Racer,” a film that screenwriter Josh Olson correctly described as a litmus test for your inner child.

Is it a perfect film? God, no. The film plays like a drinking game where you toss back a shot every time a classic SF trope plays across the screen. The only one they miss, surprisingly, is Sean Bean dying (he actually lives.) The dialogue is so bizarrely mannered that at times it seems like they brought in Jack Kirby on an Ouija board to do a pass on the film.

But you know what? Screw it. In a day and age where we complain that so many films are prequels or sequels, the Wachowskis have taken World Building 101 to a delirious level, cast it with actors who seem game through the most absurd sequences imaginable, and have produced a special FX extravaganza that features dynamic chases, fantastic outer space adventures, and an actual reason why there’s so many damned human looking aliens out there. Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum do their best with two people who, in the midst of endless running and fighting, fall in love for zero reason: Kunis is an outer space princess born with the same DNA set as another long-dead princess, and Tatum is a human/wolf mix whom Kunis appears to adore because she likes dogs. And Eddie Redmayne is just flat out insane as the perpetually whispering bad guy, 1/3 of a brother/brother/sister combo that must have made Thanksgiving dinners extremely memorable get togethers.

A combination of “Dune,” “Star Wars,” and a seriously drug induced haze, “Jupiter Ascending” should be experienced on the big screen because it’s frankly too big for a small screen. People who are likening it to “Battlefield Earth,” a truly horrendous movie, are simply wrong. Go in there with the right mindset and it’s a perfectly entertaining way to kill a couple of hours while we’re all waiting for the next “Star Wars” movie so we can tear that apart.

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