Watching the End of the World – 11

���I think I haven���t met very many sincere people in my life,��� Nate said. ���Especially in LA, it seems like everyone is trying to sell a better mask. Nobody believes anything beyond the level to which they can convince you to believe it.���

���That���s a pretty deep statement from someone who has dedicated himself to pretending to be someone else.���

Nate thought about that for a moment. At first he felt kind of insulted by Tony���s statement, but then it occurred to him in a different way. ���You know what? I don���t know if I���ve ever been sincere a single minute in my entire life. I mean, when I���m being me, not playing a role. Not a single minute.���

���That sounds kind of harsh.���

���I think the closest I get to being truly sincere is when I���m playing a role. Does that make any sense?���

���Not really.���

���When I get into a role, I get into the role. I don���t just play someone else, I sincerely become someone else. When I���m really working it, when I���ve really let go of myself and gotten into a role, I feel more ��� I don���t know ��� more real than I do at any other time. There are those magical moments when I feel as if I really am that person I am portraying, not Nate Devereaux. Like Nate Devereaux is the role I���m playing.���

���Geez,��� Tony said. ���That���s pretty intense.���

���Yeah,��� Nate said, surprised at himself. ���I can���t believe I just told you that. I don���t think I���ve ever really even thought of it that way before.���

���You think the cameras picked it up?���

Nate looked around. ���God, I hope not.���

Tony���s next question surprised Nate. ���So how are you going to play this role? I mean, how do you play a character when the character you���re playing is yourself?���

Excerpt from��Watching the End of the World