No Robots Were Employed in the Writing of this Post

One of the little secrets you learn when you become a business author is that some books in the category are not written by the people whose names appear on the covers.

Either because they are “too busy” or, more likely, can’t write, some consultants hire ghostwriters who interview them and then handle the real work of putting thoughts on paper. I get the occasional inquiry from someone eager to take the problem off my hands, for a fee, of course.

In one case, an ostensible author got up to give a speech shortly after his book was released and proceeded to flummox the audience. He was not conversant with the material in his book like an author would be after wrestling with the ideas sufficiently to get them ready for publication. “Not only was it apparent he had not written the book,” said one person who saw the show, “it raised a real question as to whether he had read the book.”

This occurrence came to mind when I saw in Fast Company recently a piece on a firm that apparently has improved robotic technology to the point that a machine can write a “personal” note the recipient will mistake for the real thing. The technology is fascinating; the implications of using it are disturbing.

A still from Bond’s video showing a robot “handwriting” a note on behalf of a human somewhere.

“We’ve built a robot that can do anything a human can do with a pen and output it exactly,” says Matt the “roboticist” in a video for the company, New York-based Bond.

You can choose from several existing handwriting-based fonts or, for a fee, submit a handwriting sample and have it digitized and placed on file for the robot’s use.

“Brides and grooms can personalize stationery and send out thank you notes in a matter of minutes instead of days,” the video continues. “An organization can add the personal touch in a way they’ve never been able to do before.”

You can “send handwritten notes in seconds,” says Bond’s website.

Except that the notes will not be written by hand.

“We have really set out to reimagine what that would look like—how we can create a truly personal experience that lets people deliver that personal touch that is truly theirs, but let them do it from anywhere,” the CEO of Bond told the magazine. “Ultimately people are about the human experience,” said the dude who’s taking the pen out of people’s hands and attaching it to a robot. Get Orwell on the phone.

The irony was not lost on some of the people who read and commented on the Fast Company piece.

“Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made,” wrote one woman.

“This is lazy and thoughtless,” wrote another. “Nothing replaces something done by the human hand, and whether it looks ‘real’ is not the issue.”

“I thought that this was an article on The Onion,” said one reader, referring to the satirical fake newspaper.

Counterfeit handwritten notes are not the biggest issue of the day. But they illustrate a larger issue of decreasing trust as people worry that in matters large and small, from company announcements to the note from the sales guy who wants to wish you a Happy New Year, things are not what they appear to be.

If you’re cool with the fact that the person on the other end will be tricked into believing you put the time and thought into writing a personal note when you instead wrote a form letter and had the thing processed, however elegantly, then go for it. The technology is ready for you.

And if you’ve always wanted to write a book but don’t want to do the whole writing thing, email me. I know a person.