Watching the End of the World – 8
One more thing: what���s your secret?��� She gestured at the camera on the wall nearby. ���What are you giving up for the camera?���
Nate was ready for this. He knew enough about reality shows to know they thrived on secrets. ���I had sex with one of my mom���s friends ��� one of her much younger friends ��� when I was in high school.���
���That���s what you���re going with?���
���What? It���s the truth. Her name was Mrs. Heath. She was British.��� Which was total rubbish. He���d never spoken more than five words at once to either of his mother���s friends and the thought of having sex with them wasn���t a pleasant one.
Akila fixed him with a level stare long enough that he began to shift in his seat. Finally she shrugged and said, ���Okay. It doesn���t matter to me either way.���
A few minutes later Kelly announced that it was time to share what they had learned about each other. Nate volunteered to go first. The story about Akila���s mother thumping her father with capoeira earned a few laughs. Nate had to admit it was a great story, better than his. Maybe too good. When he was finished and it was Akila���s turn to talk he watched her closely, looking for signs that that her whole simple Army girl routine was just an act, but he couldn���t see any. She certainly seemed sincere. He found himself thinking that if she was acting she was darn good at it, because he couldn���t tell. She seemed to be just what she claimed.
There was some hooting when she told them his story about losing his virginity to an older woman, but they all seemed to buy it, except maybe Jenna, who gave him a calculating look. Caleb actually got up and fist-bumped him. He didn���t seem all that drunk, considering how much Nate had seen him drink.
Next to go were Caleb and the blonde.
���I���m Tamara and I���m here to tell you about Caleb. Caleb is from Australia,��� the blonde said, ���except he keeps calling it Oz.��� She squinted at her notes. ���Some place called Cairns, near the rain forest, where he says they have salt water crocodiles that will swim miles up fresh water rivers and eat you when you���re sleeping by the river.��� She put her hand to her heart and gave Caleb a look as if he���d said he could walk on water. ���He was raised in the bush by his dad, who owned a pub ��� that���s what they call a bar there ��� and on the shelf behind the bar instead of the good liquor they had jars with poisonous spiders and snakes and stuff in them, all pickled in alcohol. His dad would give a free drink to anyone who could bring in something unusual that he didn���t already have. Caleb���s life���s goal is to get drunk on every continent.���
Caleb howled when she said it and held his beer up. ���Nothing like getting pissed!��� he said. ���That���s getting drunk for you Yanks who���ve never been anywhere.���
���His big secret is������ She paused, letting the suspense build. She was wearing a lot of makeup. The top she was wearing was very tight and revealed a generous amount of cleavage. It looked to Nate like she���d sprinkled glitter between her breasts. There was a tattoo of a snake���s head just visible between her breasts. ���He���s never had sex with an American girl.���
There was a fair amount of groaning at this and Tamara reddened slightly when Caleb put his hand on her knee. ���My turn,��� he said.
���This lovely sheila next to me is named Tamara. She���s from some place called Tucson in a state called Arizona, which I don���t think is a real place.��� He cried out in mock dismay when she smacked him playfully. ���She says there���s nothing in Tucson but a lot of cactus and heat and she doesn���t like talking about it.��� When she hit him again, he said, ���Hey! I���m just repeating what you said. It���s right here on paper.��� He took another drink of his beer, peered at his clipboard, then tossed it on the table. ���Her hobby is dancing around to Justin Bieber songs in her panties and nothing else.��� Laughter greeted his words. ���That���s about it, except for her secret.��� He leaned forward, putting his thick forearms on his knees and lowering his voice. ���She wants to do it with three guys on camera.��� He held up one hand, palm out. ���Fair dinkum.���
���What? You���re a monster! I never said that!��� She slapped him several times, but it was mock outrage; that much was clear to everyone. ���I hate you. Why would you say that?��� She turned to the Latino man, who was sitting on her left. ���Are you just going to let him get away with that? Aren���t you supposed to defend my honor or something?���
He set down his glass. There was a tattoo of barbed wire around his wrist, just visible when his shirt sleeve pulled back as he reached forward. He gave Caleb a cold, hard look. ���Now you���ve made an enemy of the wrong man, pendejo. I will gut you.��� The way he said it sounded utterly real and for just a moment Nate believed he was serious. Then he smiled and added in a thick Spanish accent, ���I challenge you to a duel at dawn. For the lady���s honor. You will, of course, lose.���
Everyone laughed, but there was as much relief as anything in the laughter.
excerpt from��Watching the End of the World
