Brava Contest
As you may remember, I mentored Alannah Lynne in the Brava Writing With The Stars Contest. Well, Alannah made it through the first round. Yay Alannah!!!! Looking at the judge's comments – agent Miriam Kriss – on Alannah's hero and heroine descriptions, she kicked butt on the second round, too. Alannah's critique is really positive and, must say, the best one. She clearly impressed the judge. See:
HERO: Gavin McLeod has spent the past 12 years climbing the corporate ladder of Holden Enterprises, positioning himself to become the next CEO. While the climb has netted him financial wealth, allowing him to provide for the grandfather who raised him, Gavin realizes it's also left him on the brink of ethical bankruptcy. He's torn between family obligations, a boss he views as a father-figure, salvaging his self-respect and the woman who's starting to mean everything.
HEROINE: Sunny Black is a hard-working woman whose inner light and capacity to love touches everyone. She was forced to adopt a never-give-up attitude at 10 when her mother took off and Sunny took on the care-taking of her 1-year-old brother. Once again, she's forced to dig deep and find that inner strength as she fights to save her business and falls in love with a man she's not sure she can trust.
Mentor HelenKay Dimon's comments: She worked really hard revising these descriptions to emphasize the characters' internal and external struggles and focus on who they are rather than just the plot points. She wanted them to be multifaceted and did a good job of portraying that. Fitting the important information in such few words was a challenge, but she kept editing until she got it!
Miriam's comments: These descriptions are very clear and I like the way they are put into a natural state of conflict. The only thing we could get a little bit more of is what actually attracts them to each other, but it's a minor quibble, this is a very solid description.
I can attest that Alannah worked really hard on the descriptions. She polished them to perfection and it shows!!
And now we come to the audience participation part of the program….It's time to vote again. So, head over to the Romantic Times' website and read through the great descriptions. All of the contestants worked so hard and should be so proud of their accomplishments. While you're on the site, go ahead and vote for your favorite [subliminal message: for Alannah]. Vote here.
