proper bookstore signing etiquette for writers

When you are asked to do a signing for a bookstore, the first thing you need to do as an author is lower your expectations. Nope, not low enough. Lower. Lower. Are you at "0" yet? Good, that's low enough.

I have been to signings for major authors where there was no one there. At ALA. At places where you'd think people would know who they are. The weirdest things happen. Somehow, one person will get a huge line and another person won't. There is no rhyme or reason to this. You may have a line out the door at one book signing and then literally no one at the next one. This is normal. It is not the fault of your book publisher. It is not the fault of the bookstore. It is not your fault. Your book does not suck. Your sales will not tank. You will continue to have a career after no one shows up for a book signing.

If you absolutely cannot bear the idea of sitting in a store for two hours, either twiddling your thumbs or hawking your wares to the people who happen to be roaming by, you may choose to turn down book signing invitations. Or you may choose to only agree to book signing invitations in which you are not the sole author. This has a double advantage. 1--they may get some people to the store who will buy your book. 2--you will have someone to chat with while you are not signing books, and the bookstore people will feel less guilty about you being there if you appear to be having a grand time anyway.

The bookstore may or may not offer to bring you something from the cafe. Do not have expectations for this. The bookstore may only have one of your books on hand. This is not because they hate your other books. Feel free to mention other books if you wish, but do not be pouty about this. The bookstore is simply trying to sell the books that have come out most recently or are best sellers. This is their business model and it has worked for them for quite some time. Be pleasant to the bookstore people. You don't need to talk with them for the whole time you are there, but if they are aspiring authors, be kind. Let them chat you up for as long as they would like.

You may choose to bring goodies to give away with your book or not, as you please. If you are at a multiple author signing, other authors will probably have goodies. They will probably sell books because they have goodies. This will make you annoyed if you didn't bring goodies. Other authors may have a better bedside manner than you do, and may hawk more books to passersby. This will annoy you. Grit your teeth and say nothing rude. Honestly, this is not what will make a real difference in total book sales across the country. But if it makes you more comfortable, by all means, bring free bookmarks or candy so that you have something to talk about or to offer to those who are reluctant buyers.

People who come to the bookstore with books bought online or with other things they would like you to sign, including body parts, T-shirts, nooks, or a notebook--sign them with a smile. Unless the bookstore people refuse to allow them there, and even then let the bookstore people be the bad guys. You are there to exude kindness and generosity, to show everyone how great it is to be an author, how cool and relaxed you are in public, even if you are a mess inside. You will not shout no matter how rudely you are treated. You will simply go home when you are ready and offer to sign stock, if it is desired. If it isn't, don't do it because that will annoy the bookstore people.

I am still not convinced that book signings have any effect on sales at all. If they do, it is not because of the books that are sold the day that you come in. It is because your fans will spread the word about how personable you were, and the bookstore people will keep your books up after you are gone, and because in general the book world will think of you as a known quantity.