What’s the One Thing You’re Hiding?

Tomorrow is the big day. Scary Close releases nationally. And yet I left one thing out.

I wish I could write one more chapter and stick it somewhere in the middle. If I could, I’d write about something that happened to Betsy and I the other night.

We went to bed around ten o’clock, like normal. But something kept bothering me. I’d withheld something about myself from my wife ever since we’d met.

Even after we got married, I didn’t tell her.

Honestly, I knew it would never be a big deal to her, but it was to me. I’m not talking about the truth I was withholding, I’m talking about the fact that I was withholding it in the first place. The thing I needed to tell her would make me look weak, and I hate looking weak around my wife. It wasn’t about sex or sin or anything like that, just something that was embarrassing to me.

But I was being haunted. That week we’d filmed an online course on meaningful relationships and two of the guides brought up the same truth: If we are only 90% known, we will not experience intimacy. I knew when they said it that it was true. I wasn’t as close to my wife as I could be.

She noticed I was tossing and turning.

Through broken sleep, she asked if I was okay. I lied and told her I was. But before she could fall back asleep, I confessed I wasn’t okay. And I told her.

She was genuinely surprised. She wasn’t upset at all, just surprised. She put her arms around me and thanked me for telling her. I told her I was embarrassed and she laughed and said I shouldn’t be. She said it wasn’t a big deal. Then she just went back to sleep.

But I laid there feeling free.

I was known.

And since then I’ve felt much closer to Betsy. I don’t feel like I’m acting anymore, I feel like I’m myself and I’m accepted and loved.

I wonder how many of us have that one thing we’ve not told our spouse? Do you? What is it? What would it be like to sit them down and tell them? Scary stuff, indeed. Getting close to intimacy will always be frightening. But there’s freedom on the other side.

If you haven’t yet, you can order Scary Close today and still get a free audiobook of Blue Like Jazz as a bonus. Just order the book on Amazon or wherever you desire, then cut and paste your receipt number in the box on scaryclose.com. The offer ends tomorrow at midnight. So grateful!

What’s the One Thing You’re Hiding? is a post from: Storyline Blog