We Have Reached The End…Final scene for Larz and Sherm’s Story
First a reminder. The image above is going to be on the 25.00 Amazon gift card that will be emailed separately to the winner of my Sherm and Larz giveaway contest. Below are the items that will be in the package mailed to the winner. So far we have two signed print copy of my books. A mystery box, one Rene magnet, one Aries clip and one The Boys magnet as well as some David Post-It-Notes…
And since this is the end of Sherm and Larz’s story I’m showing you what’s in the mystery box that the lucky winner will be enjoying. Ta da!
It’s a leather and brass cuff. When I saw it I knew my next heroine would wear something like this, so I bought it for the giveaway! I’ll be posting Provoked’s first official teaser when I announce the winner of all of this stuff. I can’t wait for you guys to meet my new guys! I love them!!! Here’s another shot of the cuff.
Did I mention that I like purdy cuffs? I do, but they have to be different. This one qualifies as different. It’s got some weight to it, too. I love that as well.
Now… Time to move onto the last of Sherm and Larz! I’ve picked up right from the last paragraph, but just in case you have to get caught from the beginning you can click here for the first scene or here for the second or here for the third. As before I’ve highlighted the words you guys gave me. *cough, cough* I used some poetic licence there so sorry about that. 
Anyways, don’t forget to leave a comment for extra chances to win! I’m drawing soon…
(We pick up in Larz’s point of view – he’s making his confession to the security guard…)
So, this was what the underside of a bus looked like? Larz blinked, and when there was only one plausible excuse that came to mind, he blurted it out. “I must confess I was a little surprised she’d waited until we were at the shop to tell me, so it’s no wonder I was discombobulated learning the terrible truth. Of course I had my suspicions, who wouldn’t? Any man would be blinded by such beauty just as I was…but to learn I wasn’t the vessel of manhood who created the love child? That I wasn’t the father of the phenomenal, special, gorgeous miracle growing inside my Goddess…? Well, I lost my mind and heart, I’m afraid. Yes, I lost my head. Because even though my culture believes a fruit to a pregnant woman tastes more satisfying and is more nurturing when the mother-to-be believes it’s stolen, that’s not why I took it.” Larz threw in a deep droop to his shoulders, and an “aw shucks” toe-kick to the curb for the security guard’s benefit. There was still a chance they could get out of this.
“Are you telling me,” the security guard waved his pen under Larz’s nose, “that someone else knocked up this…this…?” He seemed to be fighting for the right word. “Unique woman?”
“Yes. It was my brother.” Larz figured he’d pullout all the emotional stops to get the grocery policeman to cut him a break. It might have cost him his Goldirella though. That was his fear. With a heavy heart he looked up and up and up some more until his gaze locked with hers.
Respect. That’s what he read in those beady rat-like eyes of hers. The discovery lit him up from inside out.
“So why did you steal the fruit?” It wasn’t the security guy who asked, but one of the people in the crowd around them.
Larz didn’t let go of his Goddesses’ stare when he said matter-of-factly, “To bean her in the head with it.”
There were a couple of gasps, a few “right ons”, and one dreamy sigh that reverberated all around him, yet it was the last sound that captivated him, because it came from his delectable dear heart. She appeared to be smitten with him. Oh joy and massive bliss! He didn’t care if they did go to prison. Of course he’d lose his cobbler corner at the mall and all his future hopes and dreams of becoming the senior cobbler at the hobbler shop, but he’d have her. Yes he would.
“Okay, there’s nothing to see here folks. Go on with your business. Go on.” The security guard shooed the crowd away. Then he turned and nodded to Larz. “You pulled that load of crap right out of the shitter, didn’t you?”
Larz didn’t know what to say so he said nothing. He just waited to see what the guy had in mind to do to them. But then he didn’t do anything, he just started to walk back into the store. Before Larz had a chance to speak up, the store manager beat him to it.
“Hey, are you just going to let them go? What about the fruit? They still have it.”
The guard spun around and made a face that said, absolutely, before he explained. “Look, I said I was a reasonable guy and if they told me an entertaining story I might just ban them from the story for life. I was entertained, weren’t you?”
“So shouldn’t you take their information? Shouldn’t you tell them that they’re banned for good from shopping at our esteemed store?”
Bob straightened his official grocery store police badge and shook his head. “Look, even if one tenth of what that guy just told us was true, he deserves a break. He either made the mistake of a lifetime some time ago, or he’s planning on making it right now.” Bob gave them both the once over and sighed. “The thought that these two want to procreate…well, yeah, never mind about that. Let’s leave it at – I’ll pay the forty-nine cents for the measly avocado. I’ll add it to the bottle of aspirin I’m planning on buying to get rid of the headache I’m working on just thinking about what their kids would like. That’s all I’m saying.”
Larz clapped his soft hands together. The action didn’t make any noise but he didn’t care when he cried, “It’s a miracle!”
The store manager looked right at him, and deadpanned, “No. A miracle would be if there really was another man sniffing around after the likes of her in order to create a kid.”
Larz would have gone after the manager if his Goddess hadn’t clamped her meaty paws on him. The weight of her abrasive touch felt like heaven to him. Then when he leaned back and looked up, he had to swat away the few coarse strands of hair that dangled out of her chin and tickled his forehead, before he could tell her, “That insult was uncalled for, my darling. I wanted to avenge your honor and the honor of our-as-yet unborn children.”
Those rat-like eyes glowed down on him with adoration. “There’s no need, my little bedbug. Only the jealous spew such hatred. We’re better than that. Just ignore it.”
Larz snuggled into a spot against her. A warm place between two perfectly uneven lumps. Was one a breast? The other was definitely a rippled fat roll. “You are right, my Amazonian Queen. We shall let them eat cake when they’re privileged to gaze upon the angelic face of the cherub our combined genes shall spring off.”
“Correction.” She gathered him in for a squeeze. “They shall choke on the cake when they meet our offspring. With my height and striking features, combined with your pale skin and evenly hanging breasts, our children will be beauty personified.”
Tamping down his elation he closed his eyes, and whispered, “May I be so bold as to ask if I can make you a pair of shoes, my love? A size fourteen with a sling on the side for your bunions and extra room at the top for those hammer toes?”
“How romantic. Yes. Yes! You may make my shoes today and for all my tomorrows.”
Larz didn’t need more of an invitation than that. He opened his eyes, fought his way out from under that one breast and turned around. It only took him two tries to pull her down to him. The first couple of times were a no-go on account of his hands sliding off the grease on her hair, but once their lips connected and his tongue snaked around her two front teeth, he was in sweet and sour heaven. Floating in a world of bliss-filled abandon until he felt a tap on his shoulder.
Through the haze of new found love he heard a deep voice say, “Break it up you two. You’re coming with me. You can’t do this here.”
It took him a moment, but when he disentangled his lips from hers and turned, he came nose to badge with a real policeman. That’s when he noticed something else. His beloved had her meaty hands on his manly parts. He stumbled sideways and tried to sober up. “O-officer?”
“Don’t officer me. You’re being booked on lude and lascivious behavior. Shame on you.”
Larz watched the policeman’s baton swing back forth between them as if to say, “naughty, naughty”. Dear Lord, how would they get out of this one?
“Officer, please stop swaying that thing in front of me. I’m getting dizzy! In my condition I can’t afford to pass out. It might injure the triplets. I have asthma you know. Why else do you think my wonderful husband would be so close to me in public. He was helping me breathe through an attack. Why, he’s the most courageous man I know. You, sir, should be ashamed not us.”
“Asthma, huh? That doesn’t explain why your hand was down there.” He pointed to Larz’s nether regions and shot a dubious look between them. “Doing the hanky-panky to his spanky.”
His Goddess didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, yes, about that? You’d have to ask him.”
Larz blinked, and when there was only one plausible excuse that came to mind, he blurted it out. “Officer, I must confess…”
(The End)
Haha! Something tells me Larz and Sherm are going to have a fun life together despite their shortcomings. But here’s a question for you. Did you like them? They may have been kind of gross and their idea of perfection was far different than the norm, but at the end of the day weren’t they kind of cute together? I loved that Larz wound up having a backbone and that Sherm liked that about him. I also liked how Sherm kept chickening out when push came to shove in the explanation department. Hilarious.
Alrighty! This is the last chance to leave comments and then I’m doing the drawing. I’ll post the winner on the 2nd of Feb!!! Good luck!
Thanks for playing!
Riley
