Regaining Confidence in a Project
By Elizabeth S. Craig, @elizabethscraig
I hope that I’m not just accentuating the positive on my blog. Writing rarely comes super-easy to me. It’s always a fight to stay focused and meet my daily goals. I worry over every single project. I absolutely love the writing and feel incredibly fortunate about being able to do this for a living…unless it’s a day when I’m not loving it.
My current self-published project has been interrupted a lot more than any other project I’ve ever worked on. Some of the interruptions were personal…like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some were professional—my agent asked me to write up a couple of outlines for proposed projects. Then I got global edits in for a traditional project that publishes this summer. Then I got copyedits for the project a few days ago.
Because I had an outline, I was able to pick right up where I left off with the self-published project each time, but a few days ago, I felt…I don’t know. It was an odd combination of insecurity about the project, a longing for the story to be really strong despite all the delays, and some loss of interest in the manuscript, related to the other couple of issues.
One thing that’s not been an option for me in the last six years or so is completely ditching a project. When I was working on books in my early twenties, I was mostly practicing with voice and trying on various genres. I started two books that I clearly remember, but I might have started another one, too. It’s different now. For one, I have confidence that I can fix any mess I’ve made in a first draft. For another, I’m usually running right on top of a deadline and there isn’t the luxury of time.
Although I wouldn’t give up on the project, I still needed to deal with the weird resistance to/loss of faith in it.
I reread the manuscript. This is something that I never do. I never, never read the story while I’m writing it. But in this particular case, I was already feeling so apprehensive about it that I decided I couldn’t possible lose more faith. When I read the manuscript, I realized it was just as good as the other books. Parts were even better than the other books. The problem areas could be easily fixed in later drafts. All was well.
I read clips of positive emails and reader reviews. This was not the time to go gallivanting around Goodreads (a menacing dark alley for writer egos, in my opinion). I do keep a small folder on my computer in case I need some sort of shot in the arm. Like the words of readers who want the next release and really don’t care if I’m hitting a wall or not.
I reminded myself that I never consider myself behind and never try to “catch up.” (Well, unless it’s a traditionally published project and I’m a lot closer to deadline than I should be.) Each day is a blank slate …I meet that day’s goals and don’t let any missed goals cloud my mind. I am not behind.
Have you ever lost faith in a story? How did you keep going?
Image: “Wired1″ from Death to the Stock Photo
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