One Less, One More Lessons Learned From Crisis

For years, I’ve flown under the radar, privately advising leaders and public figures on how, during a crisis, to best preserve and protect their reputation and legacy. Like a medical doctor, psychologist, or financial advisor, I can’t disclose my clients, nor the delicate, confidential situations I guide them through.

Most people have no idea what I do for a living, and for the longest time my children believed I was a spy. The benefit of working in the shadows during a challenging, major event is the capacity to discreetly observe how the rich, famous, and powerful think and act in crisis, and ultimately, what results from their decisions, and how their story ends.

After a lifetime involved in the world of crisis, here are seven things I learned, which further inspired me to write One Less. One More.

Less fear and resistance to crisis. More following your heart and doing what you love. Do not fear or resist crisis. Crisis is inevitable and doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, what you do, how much money you make, or who you know. Over the course of your life, you will face crisis, so you might as well follow your heart and pursue your deepest dreams and desires.
Less avoiding crisis. More planning. Preparation and planning for crisis – any form of crisis – greatly improves the chances of either avoiding or reducing the effects of crisis. Wear a helmet. Wear your seatbelt. Buy insurance. Check the CO2 and smoke detectors. There is no quick fix, and if it seems too good to be true, pass. And, although I’ve heard it said thousands of times before, I never get used to hearing, “Oh my God, I never thought this could happen to me.”
Less testing fate. More practicing foreseeability. What’s private today may be public tomorrow. Simple test: If you wouldn’t want your spouse, children or friends to know what you’re doing, don’t do it. Choose your actions wisely. Reputations are lost in an instant, with rarely a chance for full repair.
Less monotony. More present moment living. Anytime you change your life, especially when you choose to align with your heart’s calling, you will create various forms of life crises, both for yourself and others. When you consciously choose to be happy, and do what you love, some aspect of your past life must end, and that is never easy. Go slow. Stay present. Remain focused on your goal. And know that for everyone, transitions are scary, challenging, and require great courage. Don’t quit.
Less blame and more accountability. You’re in it, so own your crisis. Blame has never solved one crisis, not one. Fault is irrelevant. Of course, once the crisis is over, it’s important to understand the mechanics of the event as a learning tool, but there is no place in or after a crisis for blame, or even worse, self-flagellation. Crisis is a trial, not a punishment. Take responsibility and use what you learned in this time for good, growth, and movement to something better.
Less worse. More better. All crisis produces change. Whatever the crisis, choose to make things better, not worse. It’s never what happens to you during a crisis that matters. It’s what you do with what happens after the crisis that counts.
Less dishonesty. More truth. Lying makes a crisis worse. Truth, ultimately, makes a crisis better. There’s only one way to get out of hole: stop digging. Mike Wallace, the late 60 Minutes correspondent, once told me that although the truth is compelling, a liar is embarrassingly transparent. Remember: Truth is the ultimate spin.

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