Don’t Pull the Holiday Trigger
This time of year, it’s so easy to get triggered into feelings of fear, worry, loneliness, depression, and even despair. Often it feels like everyone around us is having a wonderful time, and somehow, we’re missing out on all the fun.
Last night, my friend, Dan, a priest, told me that countless people today are experiencing “profound sadness,” while I’ve also heard from several therapists that many of their clients are having an uncommonly difficult time sleeping soundly. In my practice, and especially because of the time of year, my clients are feeling “off balance,” and questioning their future and whether in their personal and professional lives, they’re truly following their heart.
Although it may feel like it, you’re not alone. The holidays can be both an exciting and challenging time. So, when you start to feel triggered into negative thoughts or behavior, let me remind you of the ageless, proven formula – One Less. One More. — for getting back on track, feeling good, and allowing yourself to create a holiday filled with immeasurable joy, gratitude, and an abundance of love and light.
Start now. Don’t wait until after the holidays, or after tonight’s party, or after work, or tomorrow, start now. Right now. Make the conscious decision to be happy, relaxed, at peace, fearless, or whatever feeling brings you pleasure, and in this moment, take a breath and feel the power of your choice.
Come present. Like all of us, you’re thinking about the past, trying to control the future, wondering if you’re going to meet someone special at the party, worried that you might be tempted to drink too much, concerned about something out of your control, anxious that you won’t get the raise, the job, or the bonus. Come present. Take a breath. Remember that this moment is the only moment there ever is, and just in this moment, let go of both the past and future, and experience exactly where you are.
Consciously choose to follow your heart, be happy, and change slowly. Make the decision that in this holiday season, you are going to follow your heart, do what you love, pursue your curiosity, and that instead of making big, sweeping, swift and wholesale changes, you are going to make small, incremental changes in your thoughts, actions and experiences.
One Less. Choose one less negative, resistant or bad feeling thought or action and let it go. Are you nervous about money? Just once today, allow yourself one less worry, and let it go. Are you afraid of what people think of you? Do you feel bad about being perpetually late? Are you driving yourself crazy about what to wear? Are you beating yourself up for saying something stupid or being overweight? Are you upset he/she won’t like your present? Just today, right now, choose one less thought or action, and let it go. That’s your One Less.
One More. Chose one more positive or good feeling, thought or action, and embrace it. What have you always dreamed of doing during the holidays? Make love under the Christmas tree? Design your own holiday cards? Binge on holiday movie classics? Sing in a choir? Carol on Main Street? Buy yourself a gift? Secretly give away money. Wear a Santa costume and visit local hospitals? What makes your heart leap just thinking about it? What’s peaked your curiosity during the holidays? Just choose one more thing that makes your heart soar, and do it!
Celebrate your progress. By choosing to do less of what no longer fits for you, and more of what does, you’ve changed the future and the course of the universe. This may sound far-fetched, but as any quantum physics scientist will tell you, by intentionally choosing a course of action, you have physically changed the path of the universe. You, with all your incredible, unique power, have created an alternative reality, and now, because of your conscious choices, will experience a holiday much more aligned to your heart’s calling.
Repeat tomorrow. The success of the One Less. One More. formula is the beauty in slow, incremental change. Yet, in order for you to experience true, long-lasting, significant happiness and success, you must consciously choose to follow your heart daily, eliminate something that no longer is aligned with your life’s purpose, while at the same time, bringing into your life more of those things that allow you to pursue your dreams and desires. Still, let’s allow tomorrow to take care of itself, and for now, commit to being happy and fulfilled today.
A friend of mine always has a hard time during the holidays because it reminds her of her father’s death on Christmas Eve. Another friend is struggling with a failed marriage, while several people I know just feel blue because of the lack of sunshine. Yet, I’m delighted that they and others are experiencing a better holiday season than expected simply because they didn’t allow themselves to become a victim of the holidays. Now, by practicing OLOM, they understand that happiness is a choice, and regardless of what happens to them, it’s how they deal with what happens to them that will define their holiday experience.
Happy holidays, and I send you an abundance of love and light. Please share with me your OLOM holiday stories.
If you want to read more about how One Less. One More. can help you enjoy the holidays, achieve your dreams and desires, and continue to follow your heart, you can download a free sample here, or buy the book here. Follow me on Pinterest, Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter or the celebrity site, WhoSay.
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