Post Office Throwdown

---or, why Mama don't play.
---or, guess what dude just about got whupped at the post office today...
---or, Gee Whiz why do I prefer to spend MORE money by going to the UPS store?

So I'm at the post office, sending out three signed books and a Nook a fan won at my book party a week or so ago. Signs clearly say "Fill out all forms before getting to counter." So I dutifully filled out what I could.

But one of the books was going to the UK, so I needed a customs form. Dammit!

Oh, and an important detail: the clerk did NOT say I could come right back. I was expected to return to the back of the line. This is crucial to remember when you think I'm a jerk later. 

So I went and filled out my form. I figured out I have to buy 3.50 worth of freakin' packing tape too. Dammit again. UPS store is looking better again.

I get back in line-- which is now significantly longer than it was last time I stood there for 15 minutes. Sigh. Heavy Sigh. With one hand I type sarcastic comment on Facebook.

There's one person on duty, in spite of it being peak business hours. Other employees are there-- they just aren't helping with the lobby traffic.

Then I see this dude who didn't have his crap filled out. He got his stuff sent back. I stand in line for another few minutes and finally, I'm at the front. This has taken about 30 minutes, all total. Obviously, some of it was my fault. I should have realized I needed to fill out a customs form and had it ready.

So I'm standing there and there are probably about 10 people in the line behind me. Dude who didn't fill out his forms comes weaseling up to the side of me. Like he wanted cuts.

I do not make eye contact with him, but then I think "Aw, Hell No." I said to him "I don't mean to be rude, but you need to go to the back of the line. I had to go to the back of the line, too, when my stuff wasn't quite ready."

He whines and says "She told me to come to the front."  This is what makes me the maddest. Why did HE get told to get cuts when no one else that day had? Uh Uh. Nope. He still stands to the side of me and I'm like NOPE.

When the lady in front of me leaves, I walk up to the counter. He says something to the clerk (I was too mad to be paying perfect attention.)  She looked out at him, and I said something like "I had to go back; he should have to do the same. That's not right." Clerk looks at me and then at him and possibly realizes her unfair mistake.  And then he says to the people in line (I'm guessing someone must have smiled sympathetically at the B-word woman being so mean to the poor guy). "She just wants to get in front of me but I been waiting." But seriously. He had not been waiting very long, at all. He had come in while I was filling out my customs form during a short time when the line was actually pretty short. I know this because I was anxiously trying to hurry and fill out my form, but by the time I got it done, around the time he hit the front of the line, a big rush came in. Dammit again.

Uh uh. Dude. I said to him, and the waiting line "Oh no way. I have been here 30 minutes and you should not be cutting everyone."

I'm pretty sure the other people in the line agree with me, especially the guy with about 50 letters to mail. It's busy, and no one wants to see people cut in line. Fill out your damn forms or go to the back, like the rest of us did.

I finished my business, walked out. Several people in line looked at me like they wished they had the balls to say something, but they didn't. I'm pretty sure whiney dude cut.

I don't care. Mama don't play. He's lucky I didn't go all sorority girl and punt something that rhymes with punt. I know he's a guy, but I'm pretty sure he had one.

There was a time when I would have been nice and never said anything. My mom used to be rather unwilling to put up with crap and as a teenager, this, of course, mortified me. So for many years I was just nice, and would have stood there and, resentfully, let him go.

That time is not now. Dear Post Office Lady: Get your mess together. Do not let some people cut and some people not. You're just asking for there to be a Jerry Springer moment in your post office line.