Please fire me. It was lunch time and I was ready to take a much needed break from a hectic day and...

Please fire me. It was lunch time and I was ready to take a much needed break from a hectic day and get some food. I walked into the office kitchen area and was confronted by a piece of human shit. On the floor. In front of the microwave. I spent the rest of the day playing Sherlock Holmes trying to figure out who pooped on the kitchen floor.